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#147637 - 03/29/07 04:47 PM Excerpts from a Dog and Cat's Diary
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
"Excerpts from a Dog's Diary"

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

"Excerpts from a Cat's Diary"

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in orde r to k eep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one f my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomor row -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...

If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

#147640 - 03/29/07 05:13 PM Re: Excerpts from a Dog and Cat's Diary [Re: Trish4850]
Nobbynobs Offline

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Whenever we went out, our cat would leave a poop in the exact centre of our living room. Every time. And always one single poop.

When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

#147645 - 03/29/07 05:31 PM Re: Excerpts from a Dog and Cat's Diary [Re: Nobbynobs]
FormerTexan Offline

Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 12289
Loc: Denver, CO

That one's always a classic! Thanks! \:D

Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

#147654 - 03/29/07 06:14 PM Re: Excerpts from a Dog and Cat's Diary [Re: FormerTexan]
Stefan012 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 281
Loc: The Netherlands
lol, funny

You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't

#147669 - 03/29/07 06:40 PM Re: Excerpts from a Dog and Cat's Diary [Re: Stefan012]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Holy shnik you got me to LAUGH OUT LOUD !!!

#147875 - 03/30/07 09:38 PM Re: Excerpts from a Dog and Cat's Diary [Re: Still]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Come over to the UK and meet the ultimate proof of the dog part of that story...our german shepherd Bruno!

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#147896 - 03/30/07 11:49 PM Re: Excerpts from a Dog and Cat's Diary [Re: roadrunner]
froggy12 Offline

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
The house dog, Max, looks like the dog in "Mother Goose and Grim" cartoon series. And has a couple of goose eggs hanging that are going to be removed. Does he need doggy therapy later or will he not know the difference?

A concerned frog-gy


#147908 - 03/31/07 01:14 AM Re: Excerpts from a Dog and Cat's Diary [Re: froggy12]
markgreyblue Offline

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i think it's impossible for any creature to not know the difference.

not only will be a significan portion of him be suddenly 'gone'

he will also be out - a male mood stablizer - testosterone -

if he is old enough though - i do not think it will affect him

developmentally -

i think somehow though - it is barbaric - to do this.

a vascetomy - might be a nicer thing - truly - why not - ?

if dogs - get happy and jazzed when they are groomed -

and if they lie down - as we have all seen them - and lick their....

how could he suddenly not - know - oh man - those are not there

please - dogs are smart -

they just can't gripe.

" not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous

#147938 - 03/31/07 07:59 AM Re: Excerpts from a Dog and Cat's Diary [Re: markgreyblue]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
This makes me laugh out loud every time I read it, so I read it alot (did I ever mention I'm easily enterained? ) I've had dogs and cats my whole life and I can actually picture the thoughts rattling around.

Froggy, neutering and spaying your animals is kind and the right thing to do unless you're a breeder. For males, it reduces the risk of testicular cancer, calms them, making them easier to train and reduces their desire to run off, which in turn makes their chances of getting lost or hit by a car alot less. Will he notice? who the heck knows? he'll probably be more concerned with the victorian color he'll have to wear for a few days until the stitches are out then he'll be so happy to be free of it, he won't care! As long as his people are there to give him lots of love and food, all will be well \:\)

ROCK ON........Trish

If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

#147943 - 03/31/07 08:46 AM Re: Excerpts from a Dog and Cat's Diary [Re: Trish4850]
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6848
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
That cat has to be a woman



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