Newest Members
meekness, jake1985, cactus8, Neil Benesh, blazzeee
13532 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
BobdaFarmer61 (56), LeeM1974 (43), MATROS48 (60), victor valdez (43)
Who's Online
2 registered (2 invisible), 68 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,532 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,392 Topics
491,579 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
#147026 - 03/26/07 02:22 AM Confrontation OVER!
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
I'd like you to realize the crime first.

His rage fits were so severe; I had to sleep with my .22 rifle (loaded) under my 8-13 years old. I would be kicked so hard that I'd lose control of bodily function. I was face to face with a demonic mad-dog that would have been shot-dead by any reasonable armed adult (no hyperbole here). This went on for SO many years. It was key to the CSA continuing un-addressed for all those years.

Realize this too. He was a great provider of stuff and financial security. That's what WW2 generation valued. He sees things through that filter. This guy revolutionized areas of industry in immeasurable ways. Ways that keep millions fed in safe and efficient modes. He helped to open trade with a China, in deep food-crisis, right on the heels of President Nixon's visit to Peking. He was one of the first industrialists to engage in heavy trade with Japan. He holds more patents than I can count. By HIS standards...he is one hell of a success!!!

The Confrontation Tonight:

1) I opened with a "state of the union" address....what I've been dealing with...the doctors, the flashbacks, the medications, possible forced conditions etc...

2) Told him that some of the source of my trouble was from his incidents of rage when I was a kid.

---He claimed total ignorance of these rage-fits.

I can believe that. When the mad-dog would emerge, he was NOT my father. He was a daemon incarnate.

I discussed the nature of the events and that they were so traumatic that they are being replayed in the form of PTSD flashbacks today. That the trauma affected every aspect of my life...on and on with all the ramifications we all know here at MS.

I told him I was at a loss of what I need to do with this, given that he does not remember...but at least discussing this would tear-down the wall I had built up.

He was fully devastated. HE APPOLOGIZED! I FORGAVE HIM!

As little Robbie, I fantasized about the day I would be old enough and large enough to hold him accountable for it. I promised myself it would happen (during my "mirror conversations" with myself). Little Robbie got that tonight.

WE survived it...father and son.

I will go on with my recovery with my father in my corner (though he may never know about the may be too much for him to ever handle). children will have their grandfather back.

That's all I have tonight.

Thank you all for standing by me. Thank you for your concern and prayers. I'm so thankful for all of you...for MS...for God's hand in this.


#147027 - 03/26/07 02:37 AM Re: Confrontation OVER! [Re: Still]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon

The tears in my eyes prevent me from fully seeing the screen as I type. I'm thrilled for you, Bro.
I will go on with my recovery with my father in my corner
What an awesome thing for you to have accomplished. I cannot think of a better ending, and it all happened because you were willing to take a risk, a huge risk. You came out the winner and your life will never be the same. It will be forever changed for the better.

You have my admiration and love,


"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#147039 - 03/26/07 03:32 AM Re: Confrontation OVER! [Re: WalkingSouth]
Hauser Offline

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2963
Loc: United States
Very very good. You needed to do this. I suspect that nothing will really "change" even after doing this but we both know you had to do it in order to move on.

Rob? You need to tell him about the abuse SOMETIME I think. Just my thoughts. You see, once he dies, you can't change your mind and decide to tell him THEN.

It seems to me that he's had a change of heart in his golden years. I don't think that it will be too much for him to handle. I think you should tell him SOMETIME soon about your CSA and his role in it.

#147041 - 03/26/07 03:33 AM Re: Confrontation OVER! [Re: WalkingSouth]
mack Offline

Registered: 03/07/07
Posts: 101
Loc: new mexico
I am so happy for you !! I KNEW in my heart that it would work out. Why, you might ask? Because you DESERVE it. Yes, you do.
And I believe in the power of prayer. Its obvious that you have a lot of folks here in your corner. Its a wonderful feeling, isn't it? YOU DID IT !!!


#147045 - 03/26/07 03:58 AM Re: Confrontation OVER! [Re: mack]
KeithR Offline

Registered: 10/28/06
Posts: 363
Loc: Georgia

#147046 - 03/26/07 04:12 AM Re: Confrontation OVER! [Re: Still]
Morning Star Offline

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
A round of applause for the little and big Robbie here. Great job, keep up with the tempo.

All the best,

~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

#147050 - 03/26/07 05:05 AM Re: Confrontation OVER! [Re: Morning Star]
healing_inside Offline

Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 2007
"Jesus loves the hell out of me!" He sure does Robbie.
Jesus was with you today, standing by your side.

Prayer does make a difference.

Long day for you. Take Care.

I can't come to the phone right now, I am out living my life

*** WoR Retreat Alumni - Alta 2005 ***

#147059 - 03/26/07 06:36 AM Re: Confrontation OVER! [Re: healing_inside]
pietie Offline

Registered: 01/23/07
Posts: 326
Loc: South Africa

I am so glad it went well. Your story is one of encouragement to all of us.

I am proud of you my friend!

Not Perfect, just forgiven

#147061 - 03/26/07 07:14 AM Re: Confrontation OVER! [Re: pietie]
tartugas Offline

Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC

I am proud to call you my friend. You are a hero to many for your courage and strength here. But, more importantly, as important and successful as your father may be, you showed him in one heart felt exchange this evening that you have outgrown him in wisdom, compassion, and strength.

Could any father want more from a son? Congratulations, your story will inspire many.

"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

#147065 - 03/26/07 11:42 AM Re: Confrontation OVER! [Re: Still]
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Robbie, you have taken the power he had away from him, and he would not dare use it again.
The day you always dreamt of came, and you were strong enough to make him look so small.

I hope he can make something good of it,


Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >

Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.