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#146210 - 03/20/07 01:56 PM Re: Was this abuse? Am I a victim? [Re: TNuss]
Grunty1967b Offline

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 861
Loc: Australia

I’m glad you found us.

Let me point out a few points that I think are already obvious to you:

• you sought out and found a site like this and a group of guys like us
• you feel you were abused
• you identify your uneasiness around males (same gender as your abuser)
• you acknowledge the [potential] abuser had authority and power over you and was older than you
• you feel guilt that perhaps you were a willing participant
• you have blocked out feelings of the events
• you feel anxious and depression at times
• you grappled with your own sexual identity

And here’s the kicker……you think you’re all alone in feeling like this because you’re asking if anyone else can identify with ANY of this!!

Well, I just put big, fat, ticks alongside EVERY one of those points above and I pretty much know most of the guys who have responded to your post so far and they would too. I can also guess a handful of the guys who will probably also reply within the next few days and they will also be able to “tick all the boxes”.

Lpp, as has been said, if you feel what was done to you was inappropriate and was abusive then it was. For the money, I think it was and I think you do too.

This is one of the best, if not THE BEST places you can find on the web for help and caring support and friendship.


#146282 - 03/20/07 09:34 PM Re: Was this abuse? Am I a victim? [Re: Grunty1967b]
GWsurvives Offline

Registered: 01/10/07
Posts: 251
Loc: Atlanta, and here, among othe...

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and if it takes a big turd on your life like a duck; I would call it a duck.

But you are the one that has to decide if it was a duck. The mere fact that you here asking the question are might offer you some insight to how you feel about it. If you will some time reading the post here, you will quickly find out, the "severity" of the abuse does not in any way diminish the affects of it.

keep reading, keep asking questions.


"Some times there just aren't enough rocks" Forrest Gump

#146337 - 03/21/07 04:32 AM Re: Was this abuse? Am I a victim? [Re: lpp]
Morning Star Offline

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home

By all the posts above, I am sure you would have confirmed your doubts by now, regarding your childhood abuse and now looking at remedial measures to be taken, before you embark on a new journey of life - marriage. My best wishes for that, you deserve all the happiness and joy.

Let me add that mine start similarly though with a boy same age and also an elder man. Both compounded the affects of each other, and later it all snowballed into abusive episodes with both.

Even exposure to porn as a child can have an equally devastating effecting effect on a child's mind.

Anytime a child is exposed to a sexual experience or feeling before he is ready to do so can be considered an abuse of his right to choose as he didn't get to choose, even though it might have felt normal or appropriate and even consensual at that time. It is abuse of our freewill, all right. That is why, most abuse victims have an issue with saying No, because once they couldn't and hence take the entire life time learning when to say no, and when to say yes as well. That is the flip side of the problem we take so much power from denial of others and ourselves that we often forget to say yes to the right situation and people, who enter into our lives as healing agents and simple agents of change.

BY the way, the timing for this revelation is so appropriate, as now you would enter in this new phase of your life with greater awareness, and healed.

~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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