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#143921 - 03/03/07 05:32 PM Re: hello [Re: EGL]
Darren Offline

Registered: 02/13/07
Posts: 120
Loc: The High Seas
Welcome MTZ! I'm new here too. I have problems relating to males at work as well. Sometimes I go into a sort of trance and feel frozen... it sucks, but i've tried the techniques others have pointed out here and they work to a certain extent. I'm glad you found this site. It's been very helpful to me. Hang in there! -Darren

ďNow and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be piratesĒ -Mark Twain

#144085 - 03/05/07 11:04 AM Re: hello [Re: Darren]
Grunty1967b Offline

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 861
Loc: Australia

Iím glad you got to post about a specific issue after your first, brief, hello, post. And Iím glad youíve found the advice of some help. You certainly donít want to get fired!

I hear you on your previous attempts at therapy when you were younger. Iíd like to offer up three thoughts and reasons to perhaps reconsider trying this again.

1. Many years seems to have passed since last time. For many survivors therapy is not always too successful if it occurs too closely to the actual abuse.
2. I donít know about your last therapist but I do know it is crucial to see a therapist who specialises in male childhood sexual abuse. If you did do that last time, then there are good ones, not so good ones and great ones. Try again!
3. I donít think youíd disagree that this is affecting your life big time and you donít want to go on living this way, so what have you got to lose an trying again with another therapist?

Thatís my gentle ďsell jobĒ on the T thing anyway. Thereís also books of course and I read quite a few of those before I plucked up the courage to seek out a T myself and I know many guys here that donít see a T at all and the books help greatly anyway. Each to their own.

Whatever you do, stick around here and keep posting MTZ. Weíre here for you and we understand.

#144103 - 03/05/07 02:51 PM Re: hello [Re: Grunty1967b]
MemoryVault Offline

Registered: 03/02/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ

I'm new here, too. With me it's more male authorities in the office - I get scared to talk to them, or I get super-friendly and agreeable, even when there's a problem.

One thing that's helped is when I tried to put the fear into words --

Is it "this guy's going to hurt me"?
Is it "This guy needs something from me, and that feels creepy"?
Is it "I feel like I'm a kid and what am I doing talking to all these grown-ups"?
Maybe there aren't any thoughts at all--it's just your body reacting.

Do you know what triggers the feeling? Something the customer says or does? Does it ever not happen?

BTW, I am totally ambivalent about therapy, too, and am going the do-it-myself route for a while, too.

#144159 - 03/06/07 01:25 AM Re: hello [Re: MemoryVault]
sabata Offline

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1950
Ditto.....Mv.....On Authority figures....Boy I Have Had My Problems At Work With This One....My Anger Gets out of Hand.....I To See People as Adults...Grown ups....Crazey...I Feel Like i Am Not on The Same Level....Lesser Steve

#144285 - 03/07/07 12:33 AM Re: hello [Re: Still]
Alexander Offline

Registered: 10/17/06
Posts: 223
Loc: The Netherlands
Welcome here, it's a good site.
Take your time!
No need to rush things.


Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I'm dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath

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