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#425563 - 02/17/13 05:30 PM Re: The meanings of our "pen names" [Re: Brokenhearted]
jay75 Offline

Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 145
I thought this would be a good thread to resurrect.

My "pen name" Jay ( disregard the 75) comes from a nickname my stepfather used to call me. "Jay bird" as he refered to me, was a name he called me as a kid. He said my demeanor reminded him of a blue jay, very aggressive and jealous. lol. As a teenager running the streets when asked my name I always said it was Jay. Today I look back and see that I was neither aggressive or a jealous person, but it stuck.

"Those are not your sins" A wise man

#425564 - 02/17/13 05:44 PM Re: The meanings of our "pen names" [Re: Brokenhearted]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1070
When I started recovery in 2004, the first thing I said to my first T was, "I wasn't abused but I have symptoms of someone that was." It took me a long time to come to terms with the possibility that I *was* abused but don't remember it.

I then narrowed down the time frame of when it must have happened (5 to 7 y/o), and then determined a suspect, but still no memory.

When I became aware of MS in 2004/2005, and I was reading the survivor stories and introductions, I felt inadequate to be here because I felt like less of a survivor because I lacked a story to go along with my pain. Then I read a post where someone said that there was "no hierarchy of abuse," that one person's abuse wasn't "worse" than another's. Something in that clicked for me, and I took my lack of memory as my badge of honor.

So when I registered, I chose as my screen name, cant_remember. And now that's who I am here.

I'll be just fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But I won't let sorrow get me way down.

#425567 - 02/17/13 06:39 PM Re: The meanings of our "pen names" [Re: Brokenhearted]
Candu Offline

Registered: 07/01/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
I first registered with my first name. Things were difficult for me at the time and I didn't care about anonymity. But when I tried to post I couldn't because I felt too exposed. So I had to come up with something and it took a while. I was I wanted nothing negative sounding. I wanted something easy to search for with Google. (that's another story) So I came up with Candu because I can do this. (recovery) It took a month before I was able to get the name changed.

#425593 - 02/17/13 08:49 PM Re: The meanings of our "pen names" [Re: wearytraveler]
caesar14 Offline

Registered: 04/13/10
Posts: 70
Loc: Patterson, North Carolina
I love it....welcome to MS Josh.
"The innocence you spoiled has found a way to live"
Things I have to say (triggers)

#425619 - 02/18/13 01:15 AM Re: The meanings of our "pen names" [Re: Brokenhearted]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4287
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
Josh & all -

i too am a traveler. i second what you said about the sense of adventure and the excitement of discovery and learning.

i've lived at over 30 addresses in 7 states, 6 countries and 4 continents. i have visited over 30 countries and have a hard time staying too long in one place. don't really have a home town - and don't like revisiting some of the places i've lived - for obvious reasons. i guess i've been searching for something - and also trying to escape something. at this point in life - i know that much of my journey has been internal as well as external. still some distance to go - but i'm getting closer.

How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

#425623 - 02/18/13 02:05 AM Re: The meanings of our "pen names" [Re: Brokenhearted]
GoodHope Offline

Registered: 07/05/11
Posts: 428
Mine is supposed to represent optimism. Hope and that is good. When I came here, I didn't have much hope.
Wife of a survivor

#425631 - 02/18/13 03:51 AM Re: The meanings of our "pen names" [Re: Brokenhearted]
SoccerStar Offline

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 929
Soccer was one of the few sports I was ever good at, the only one I was recognized for being good at, and it was during a soccer game that I not just defended myself but actually beat up and scared off one of the school bullies who had been tormenting me for years - and got away with it because it was "cloaked" by the game.

When I first signed up here I was plunging through a breakdown, flashing back in horror, alien and different and desperate, on the verge of doing something very bad and very final.

I tried to think of the most powerful and victorious moment from my youth. I needed to find something from my past that wasn't the memory of me being attacked - something that had a young me fighting back, being strong, winning. This was it.

My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

#425695 - 02/18/13 05:15 PM Re: The meanings of our "pen names" [Re: Brokenhearted]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1743
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa

I came up with the name when i joined the site having just watched the Oprah show, wow it feel like an age ago.
Well WhoMe is the fact that I had denied that I had been abused even to myself for so long, and when I asked myself if I had been abused, I would say to myself Who Me?

How things have changed in what is actually such a short time.

Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

#425696 - 02/18/13 05:35 PM Re: The meanings of our "pen names" [Re: Brokenhearted]
fvn Offline

Registered: 01/21/13
Posts: 4
It's my initials. I couldn't think of something catchy.

#425860 - 02/19/13 08:39 PM Re: The meanings of our "pen names" [Re: Brokenhearted]
HD001 Offline

Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 276
Loc: us
HD is a nickname that my friends call me.
Everything comes from within

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