The pain inside me just got to hard to bear.
So i added another tear.
Today i feel as if the battle i will loose.
the pain was so much i had to choose.
The shimmering on my hand as the light fell
i was so alone with no one to tell
that i wanted out, get rid of this consuming pain
a new scar is all i could gain.

The release felt so sweet with every drop that fell
I wish the pain and hurt i could sell
To him who caused it all
that pushed me into this spiralling fall.
Today all is left is the new pain and scar
the stains on the paper in my car
where i watched every drop that tumbled down to the floor.
felt the release with every drop just more and more.

So today again myself i condemn
For doing what i did and releasing them,
every drop of blood that would not stop.
and counting the hurt and pain , drop by drop.
I hate me. i hate me, i want to scream
Oh how is wish this was all just a dream.
Why do i only find such release in this emotional storm?
For so long this was no longer the norm.
I would try to deal with it in new ways.
new things and methods that pays
me from staying away from inflicting hurt and scars
but i guess i was so trapped behind all the bars.

So now i have to add another one to my list.
As well as the wall to my fist.

Not Perfect, just forgiven