I know the feeling as well. I have recently wondered how much it has to do with the fact that we never got the chance to decide when we ready to have our first sexual experience, someone else decided for us.
Pietie, do you find yourself terrified that your attachment might eventually reject you? In these situations, I always found myself getting clingy with the individual because I was constantly trying to reinforce my belief in the friendship. I would feverishly ananlyze body language looking for any clues that would give me insight, and thus some extra "control" over the outcome.
Drives us crazy doesn't it? In my case, what helped was to refuse to observe or participate in any kind of body language, which helped keep me from getting triggered, but that's just me.
Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.