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#13956 - 05/02/03 05:24 AM I wonder how truthful one can be here?
Frank G Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/25/03
Posts: 10
Loc: Maine
Well I was just starting to post and already it
Seems I have comitted a sin. I must of said something I was not suppose to, as my story was
moved to members at risk. I don't know how to get
in there. Well I only want to say a few things.
First I am a dried up 53 year old obese man. I
don't have any active sex life, nor am I planning
one in the future. Yes I did at one time own a
published book with single naked kids in it, but
it had been in storage for over 20 years. I am
not a pediphile, I am gay,in name and asexual for
quite a few years. I never molested anyone. I am
not a risk to anyone. I don't have to registor with any state as I have never attacked anyone.
I told my life story because I wanted to be truthful. I just read the defination of the at risk group here. I think 100% of anybody my age or
even 30 years younger could be put in that group.
So why am I the one? See I still see myself as
missunderstood even here. There got that off my
chest. Frank G

Frank G

#13957 - 05/02/03 06:11 AM Re: I wonder how truthful one can be here?
RJD Offline

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 326
Loc: jefferson City, Mo,usa
Frank you have my respect and admiration for your courage and unvarnished truth. They will come up with some explanation for why they did what they did. There are those of us who see the world as black or white and forget about shades of gray. I for one am grateful for your truth. --- RJD

P.S. I used to spend summers near Old Orchard Beach. Our fantasy has been to retire in maine somewhere along the coast.

#13958 - 05/02/03 06:19 AM Re: I wonder how truthful one can be here?
mattandrew Offline

Registered: 04/26/01
Posts: 376
Loc: Florida

First let me say i am pleased to see that you had the guts to post what you did on this site and for being truthful when you posted.I am sure the persons or person who moved your post will let you know as to why they did such action,if they don't contact you either via private message or by email contact them directly thru the administrator of this discussion board.The men who operate this site watch things very carefully and they are trying to keep in mind all the survivors safety while participating on this site.Don't take your post being moved personally maybe one of the moderators decided that it would be better suited in that place then on this board.

Welcome to malesurvivor and hope to talk with you sometime,until then take care and be gentle on yourself.


M.A.N. ,
Boy who was trapped in society's nightmare & moving on thru healing & accountability.

#13959 - 05/02/03 06:51 AM Re: I wonder how truthful one can be here?
Marc Offline

Registered: 04/25/03
Posts: 256
Loc: Tucson, AZ

Welcome to the site. Try not to take the move oersonally. It may have nothing to do with you and instead may have something to do with one of us. Your story might have been better suited for the at risk area since it more closely resembled some of ours.

Try to be a little less hard on yourself... i know it ain't easy.

I just read your post myself BECAUSE it was in the other forum.

Think about joining us. You might find out that things are really so bad as they seem. ;\)

#13960 - 05/02/03 01:49 PM Re: I wonder how truthful one can be here?
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5781
Loc: Lyons, CO USA
I moved Frank's post because I believe it may be very triggering to people struggling with porn and sexually arousing materials (not the part he quoted above, but details about his abuse). It did not have a trigger warning.

Frank, you have my permission to post my reply to you, if you'd like.


Blissfully retired after 35 years treating sexual abuse

#13961 - 05/02/03 08:36 PM Re: I wonder how truthful one can be here?
Wuamei Offline

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...

Matt & Marc & Ken shared some solid truth, made vital points, & offered good explanation of how this site works for everybody & why your post in particular was moved. I affirm it all & want to say to you personally:

Please don't take this personally. (BTW you may recall I did respond to your post in question.)

Believe me you are not the only person here to have had a post moved, to At Risk or elsewhere;
I've had a couple moved myself.

In fact there have been a couple of people who have come here who were becuz of their situations permitted to use only At Risk. That's one reason it was formed.

But not the only one. Actually, many people wanted
& are very grateful for this forum, even using it with some regularity. I'm one of them; if memory serves me correctly (that's always a coin toss!) I was the first to post in At Risk, back when it was still being fine tuned.

On the one hand, please don't think you're being accused of being a perp. We generally don't even have to accuse perps, we just let them know they're not welcome here, except to heal & in At Risk, and send them on their way. An extremely small minority of those who use At Risk have ever perpetrated sexual offenses, certainly in any legal sense, much less are any currently perpetrating.

On the other hand, please try to understand & appreciate how careful we have to be & are about making sure perps don't do anything here to hurt any of this wolf pack.

We must be very careful to guard what is posted while also guarding peoples' freedom to post in ways that will be helpful to them, and hopefully to others.

Were we not this careful many people would leave this site, many of them deeply hurt by the predators who do prowl this site trying to kick people who are already down. We make sure they get their feet nipped & get snarled off this site!

We have in part learned this the hard way, even in the last year or so. That's why we have our guidelines; please read or re-read them.

It wouldn't hurt any of us to do that once in a while, actually!

Frank please don't consider me unsympathetic. As I posted to you before, I unfortunately relate to your story in a whole lot of ways.

I've also occasionally posted in ways that weren't
ideal & moved or edited or even deleted posts, sometimes by my own choice & hand.

Having said all that, feel free to vent & get things off your chest. It's part of what we do here. They don't call me Victor Vesuvius the Venting Volcano for nothing!

OK I just made that up!

But I have been known to vent here maybe once or twice right guys?

Victor \:D

"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck


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