Part of my husband's seeming denial that his abuse was anything to get angry about, that is, that it WAS ABUSE, is probably due to the fact that after some thinking, it appears that many of the perps are in his family. It's a tough thing for his mind to reconcile. I personally witnessed an incident. We were visiting his family overseas, and we in from the guest house for breakfast. His uncle was sitting at the head of the dining table without pants or underwear on, but had a shirt on and everyone in his family acted as though it were pretty normal, as though it was the man's house and he can do as he pleased. I was embarrassed and went outside. My husband along w/ the others laughed about it. Then he came out w/ me, and when we returned a short time later, the uncle had put on pants and was working around the house.
I tried hard to think that maybe it is a cultural thing entirely or maybe I was just too naive or sheltered to know whether it was normal in some families or not. Looking back on it today, I am beyond SHOCKED. I remember my husband and everyone sort of snickering at my embarrassment, because I was the sweet, sheltered one that "lived in la-la land," my husband has often said. Well, I'm not in la-la land anymore, but I think he is!!!
It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.