I was not abused by a woman, but I know that sort of abuse is more common than is often assumed. There are just two points I would like to suggest to you for now.
First, don't get down on yourself because you have difficulties with sex. Abused boys VERY frequently have this difficulty, and it doesn't go away just because the kid grows up. In your case, remember that as a boy you discovered that sex with girls is a source of harm, confusion, shame, and who knows what else. As I said, these feelings don't just disappear - they lie just beneath the surface and can really mess us up unless we do something about them.
That leads me to my second point. You say you haven't been able to get much out of your therapist. Do you mean you are asking direct questions and are getting no answers? Or are you afraid to ask, and find it frustrating that the answers don't come up in other ways.
It's not easy to learn to trust a T. If you already have confidence in your T, then just try to bring up the topics that trouble you. You are NOT going to be laughed at, judged, or whatever.
If you still don't trust your T, that's no surprise. It's difficult for a survivor new to recovery to trust anyone at all. But let your T guide you if you can, and if you have concerns, raise them here.
Therapy really IS the way through your problems, and once you get into it and have faith in yourself and your T, it gets a LOT easier.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)