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#132360 - 05/15/06 12:48 AM AgePlay
pontifixmax Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/27/05
Posts: 8
Loc: Ottawa Canada
This is hard for me to talk about since I've never shared it with anyone but sometimes sexually I enjoy pretending to be little again, which often involves recalling my childhood sexual experiences (the good ones that is), fantasies revolving around spanking (even tho I never was) and shaving my body, which I feel the most weird about since now that I have a gf I don't know quite how to explain my reasons for it when she sees me like that. I don't think she's turned off by trhe actual shaving or anything. Rather I just don't know how to explain why I like feeling like I did when I was little without coming off as some sort of pedophile, which I'm not. None of my fantasies I have involve me (as an adult today) with a child. On the contrary in them I am a child but I still don't know if this is OK. If anyone has any insights to offer please post. Thanks

#132361 - 05/15/06 01:35 AM Re: AgePlay
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Are you seeing a T about these issues? I am not judging you here, but of course the problem is that you are not a small child anymore. Fantasies about sex as a child are probably not good for you. I would think they will just confuse you about the issue of whether it is okay for a child to be so radically sexualized. And if you are reverting to a child's persona when you become sexual, doesn't that suggest that sexuality is a serious problem for you as an adult?

So as I said, I would see a T about this since the whole subject is sensitive and extremely complicated.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#132362 - 05/15/06 06:48 PM Re: AgePlay
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5781
Loc: Lyons, CO USA
I agree with Larry that this should be discussed with a therapist experienced in sexual abuse issues. If the childhood fantasies are involving your sexual relations with your girlfriend, I'd be a little concerned about that. While it can be variety to play out some kinds of fantasies with a partner, if it becomes routine to be playing a role (child or whatever), you may be reinforcing fantasies rather than developing a healthier, age-appropriated relationship.

Again, something to discuss with your T.


Blissfully retired after 35 years treating sexual abuse

#132363 - 05/31/06 02:38 PM Re: AgePlay
TexasCowboy Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 22
Loc: Houston, TX
Reinforcing this fantasy of digressing as a child is not in yours or your partner's best interest. This is something that I feel you should immediately speak with a therapist about who has an understanding of sexual child abuse, particularly in men. I would think you could find someone in Ottawa along those lines, if not, I think you should seek someone in Toronto. There are some issues here that need to be addressed with a licensed professional. Above all, don't feel that you are wrong or "dirty" or bazaar for having these feelings. However having an arrested adolescence that involves a sexual fantasy of a child is not in your best interest. Please do not be afraid to seek counseling because it will help you tremendously.

The strongest hearts are sometimes broken,
As the deepest thoughts arent always soken,
and the greatest wounds we hide inside ourselves where they never show

#132364 - 07/14/06 07:24 AM Re: AgePlay
chrispy Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/14/06
Posts: 5
Loc: Missouri
I think you should really do your research on "ageplay" and "infantalism". I, myself, am an infantalist. I know it stems from the abuse that I had as a kid. I have spent much time on the i-net finding information about ageplay, etc, and you are not alone. Many people, both men and women have these types of fantasies or fetishes that stem from sexual abuse. Though many people think it is weird or abnormal, I can say it has kept me safe and sane. Many become suicidal, alcaholics, self abusive, etc. Luckily I have never had any of these problems and I know I am not alone. Everyone has some sort of coping mechanism.

You should probably talk with your T about this though. My ex-gf was the only person I have let in my life and she had helped me tremendously on overcomeing all the sexual anxiety and other emotions I had kept hidden. I told her about my infantalism and she was very supportive and did not hold it against me at all. However, since we maintained a healthy sexual relationship, the need for indulging in infantalism was pretty much non-existant.

There is nothing wrong with acting out some sort of ageplay in your sex life, but it shouldn't be trying to relive your abuse. It also shouldn't take over your relationship. Ageplay is no different than any other kind of normal sexual play or fantasy. In your case however, there will be a deep emotional ties.

Acting out your ageplay can be very healing and rewarding in your relationship, but you have to know each others limits. There is also sexual and non-sexual ageplay. Do some research. There are a few other supportive sites specifically geared for these types of individuals.


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