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#132005 - 07/14/05 06:49 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
ben_jammin13 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 3
Loc: New Jersey

I'm with Chuck and David on this. I had been thinking about my sexuality for a while before I was raped. Now I'm even more confused than I was before. Though I am 14 so hormones probably have something to do with it.


#132006 - 07/15/05 05:03 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
I rather like Jake's response on this one. If you feel it and know it and it is real for you, then you are bi.


Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#132007 - 07/19/05 01:59 AM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I did not read the article as you have to register.

I read a lot on the net on psychology, for my own good and not for any other reason.

I dont psyche people, I use it only for myself, but what I find, is that modern thinking, instead of relying on the old 'masters' of psychology, breaks the mold.

Freud, Kinsey and many others were the centrepoint of human sexuality, but many other thinkers, have done so much work in the modern World.

I think that psychology has a lot to offer in the right hands, but a psychiatrist who has a pure text book image of what he read in Freudian times, is so out of date with reality.

The new stuff that I read, is far more applicable to the way my mind works, and it is based on frugal research of male sexuality, and what survivors of male sexual abuse disclose.

A doctor is only a good doctor if they keep up with modern techniques, and side effects of drugs, and finding the best way of helping their patients, if they dont, then they get the patient returning with further problems.

Is psychiatry and therapy not the same?

Of course it is, understanding what is really happening inside an individual can be hard, it is hard for me, so I write to my doc, but it is only a snapshot.

If I write too much, then she will not read it, so I cannot tell her everything, but I can give her a snapshot of me, and how things affect me.

I sure got so confused as a kid, but it was not my fault, because I was abused before I knew what sex was, and that is big confusion.


Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

#132008 - 07/22/05 09:10 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
JamesMichael Offline

Registered: 07/24/02
Posts: 134
I feel strongly about this topic (sexual identity) and suggested its inclusion in the forum options. I agree with the notion that some professionals want to pigeonhole sexual preferences, identities, and sexuality itself. That scientific approach to something that involves the whole mind-body-spirit is too narrow an understanding for an energy that is so much more intuitive and instinctual. I have a master's degree in counseling and human relations (though I don't work professionally as such), and I'm a survivor of childhood, and adolescent sexual abuse. (Brother, mother, priest were perps). Notwithstanding any of that, I've grown to be a happier, healthier person by "tagging" whatever memories, thoughts, feelings, intrusive or otherwise that I experience and not judging their worth as evidence of being gay or straight. I'm married (for 24 years) and have 3 great kids. I love my wife. I have same sex fantasies, and "straight" fantasies too. Each has been difficult to accept for different reasons. Certainly, had I not been perped-upon it'd all have been easier to work out. But if the numbers are right and that I'm among 1-in-4 or 1-in-6 guys that have been sexually abused, then there are a lot of guys of every age (and era, and culture)that experience what so many of us do in this regard. Jung and Joseph Campbell are more credible to me as guides than some others that have been mentioned. This matter of sexual confusion and identity and taste is so much more common than puritan america can handle. Sexual abuse, hard-ons, how you get them and deal with them is too much in the shadow of our "modern" life to deal with. There are no acceptable forums to address the angst. There were ways to deal with this in the past. Tribal, hunting, agragarian men knew their scent and its power. They smelled each other and were comfortable with it. We deodorize our scent and our sexuality with it. There are many masculinities. We need to get back on our bikes and learn to ride again with other men as our training wheels. Abuse knocked us off of our bikes...our journey. I've been to therapist who've said I was this or that. I'm glad that I've maintained a posture of deciding for myself what I am or will be. "Acting-out," various addictions and compulsions can be addressed with the right support and diffused, maybe tamed. These are dragons rearing their heads demanding attention.

Sexuality, chi, prana, energy,'s all about being ALIVE. Don't allow the perps to steal this from you! Reclaim, demand, the return of your dick, your scent, your power. Welcome it, nourish it, play with it, know it, and use it to your benefit, your Self, and those you love.

#132009 - 07/25/05 11:14 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
Ritchie22 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/10/05
Posts: 13
Loc: New York
After reading the above post about the article written in public that there is no such thing as Bisexuality and if you do claim to be bi sexual you must be gay, I tend to agree with Ivanhoe when he pointed out that there was no mention of SA being involed with one's sexuality in the Article claiming that Bi sex is false. It seems every so often someone comes along no matter what the subject and claims otherwise just to get 15 minutes of fame. Im in my 60's and well married for close to 40 years and I have always had these feelings for both men and women at different times depending on the situation. That article will never change my views on this matter!

#132010 - 08/07/05 02:42 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?

Registered: 06/19/05
Posts: 22
bkeithb's asked if others could weigh in on the subject bi- confusion or bisexuality.

males need to be bonded with other males; the first male in their life is their father--a broken bond there makes it difficult to bond with males down the line--peers, friends--i know what it has been like to both have a mostly hate relation to my dad and also a yearning for closeness to other men but a fear of them. perhaps a lot of bisexual confusion for a male primarily in the heterosexual sphere comes from actual blocks to genuinely and successfully close friendships with other men. Earl Henslin, in his book Man to Man helped me greatly in accepting my need to have close male friendships without having to make those friendships part of for me an unwanted gay approach to life. Close male friendships are the Everest that men can climb to; SA and other bond breakers makes that climb harder but all the more desirable, as I have found.

#513870 - 07/27/17 09:18 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid? [Re: bkeithb]
ihrlieben Offline

Registered: 07/27/17
Posts: 4
I think I trust my cautious approach.

#514404 - 08/09/17 01:20 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid? [Re: bkeithb]
LoneWolfX Offline

Registered: 08/04/17
Posts: 202
I think that above study is a load of SH1T. Think about it - logically it makes sense that there is a continuum of sexuality. Things cannot conveniently be put in a box, either straight or gay.

Edited by LoneWolfX (08/09/17 01:21 PM)

#514406 - 08/09/17 01:47 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid? [Re: bkeithb]
Ceremony Offline

Registered: 09/15/16
Posts: 2121
Loc: Minnesota
I think the past, where this article can stay, shows there's still some loaded issues out there. Like "Sophiesdad" responded in the second post, he noted there are likely 10 articles that prove being bi exists, for every 1 article attempting to wrongly disprove.

We know our truth, and see around us, the support that fits to help validate. I see a lot of pushback against the transgender community and in every way validate that person, just like validating all LGBTQ spectrum.

There are cycles where pushback occurs, to propagandize sly agendas that marginalize some, to smokescreen things that are very important.
Finding ways to cope with my mind!
The next link is the song "Ceremony", and why I use it.
This is the story of my rape, posted on MS:

#514409 - 08/09/17 03:00 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid? [Re: bkeithb]
greenwizard Offline

Registered: 02/11/17
Posts: 497
Loc: PA
All I can say is what I know. I was raped by a woman, and not a man, therefore any confusion potentially caused by that does not exist for me. However... For most of my life I have had crushes on both boys and girls. In school while all us boys were changing in the locker room for gym class, I looked.

Right now I am involved in an experiment. I have my female fiancee, which our 2 year anniversary is Saturday. I am very attracted to her. I love her. We have a pretty decent sex life. I was also set up with a boyfriend recently. I'm attracted to him too. It has only been, what, like 3 weeks? I like him. Sex has not happened yet, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about it. It wouldn't be the first time I've had sexual contact with a male either. When I was like 15 I think I had this good friend and we got curious. When we spent the night at each other's houses we would do stuff like mutual stroking and oral.

Also, while my boyfriend and I were watching Netflix a few nights ago I turned on Bill Nye saves the world. I loved his show as a kid, so of course I have to watch his new show. The topic of that show was sexuality and gender identity. He said for the longest time society had these boxes for people, we were all either or. But now non biased people who are studying this are finding out that there are not boxes, it's more like a spectrum for everything. I agree with this because I'm like somewhere in the middle for everything.

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