Hey, Nightwolf, Pete,
You've got a good man in here...well, I see three...but I'm referring to what S T said about separating the sexual from the social and the fathering.
I felt that I was at the bottom of the barrel as far as dads were concerned. Thank God for the reading list for my major, Haim Ginot, for one, I was able to not turn out to be that bad of a dad. Well, I yelled too much and too loundly sometimes, but all in all I was definitely, hands on.
The daughters are fine, dealing with their own problems in life, and pursuing careers more comfortably than I was ever able.
You've got to understand I had the greatest mom backing me up...the girls have never had a serious arguement with their mother, always able to work through whatever was bothering them. I adopted an attitude of doing for them whenever I could; yes, two princesses. But the way that I see them treat others and stand up for themselves, says that Ranata and I must have done something right.
We've always listened to them and have had some of the best discussions around the dinner table you could imagine. Of course, they're pretty liberal in their thinking and we can discuss anything and respect whatever small differences that we may have.
All of this is to say, I'd probably been more nervous with a son, but I'm hoping that would have transferred because of the relationship that I've had with nephews.
I probably over protected them, but I shudder if I had done anything different. I remember there was a whole lot of driving around and dropping off and picking up. I always knew where they were and they always tried to tell me where they were when I didn't know. Can you do that with a boy? Ya, I think so. Our neighbors across the street have always had the homework table after dinner. Their kids always knew that they didn't do anything until their homework was done. I was always envious of that. We didn't have that table, but helped as much as we could. Their kids are pretty much four point and ours were in the 3.5 range...the difference I think, or the similarity was that we both have paid close attention to our kids.
You're gunna do fine. Relaxing into it some can work wonders...but that's hindsight for me. Let 'em know that you love them, and they'll blossom like the wonderful kids they are.
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."