Well this is it !!!
I have mad the first step for the second time
(Let me Explain)
I first disclosed about my abuse when I was 18 confronted my abuser (Grandfather) and let the family know including his wife my grandmother which needless to say didn't go over very well....
That part for me seemed to be the easy part!
Then the memories cam back and the flash backs and every where I seemed to turn for help told me that there is no places for male survivor it wasn't a common occurrence and no place I looked really had any type of programs for me !!
I tried this course for several months either counseling wasn't available or it cost to much or the waiting list was to long...
I feel in to a self-destructive pattern alcohol drugs and I don't remember much of when I was 18
I meet a woman (My Wife for 10yrs) and I pushed my past away and started a new life my wife knows what happened and has been very supportive through out the years.
I am now 31 with a family and decent job and my life is on track..
But recently my past has reared its terrible head and I can't seem to push it away any more.
So again I have sought out counseling an found that it still is far and few between and the one's that are around are still very expensive though I am on a waiting list for a group and do have a counselor though I don't know for how long since my insurance only covers a small portion..
Am I doomed to start and stop the recovery process over and over?
Once was hard, the second even harder, Next time may not happen..