I go in for "day surgery" on Friday, some pre-op stuff this coming Tuesday.
I'm having my gall bladder out - supposed to be a simple procedure nowadays, done with a small incision and a scope, unless there's a problem once they've taken a peek.
It's not the surgery that's bugging me so much. It's just the idea of needing to be in a hospital again. So much has gone down in hospitals for me - not S.A. related but a lot of trauma.
There was the five weeks I spent, in two hospitals, in the summer of '03 after getting hit by a cab and breaking my hip and wrist. This happened during a health scare in Toronto you may remember hearing about (SARS) and I was cut off from visitors nearly the whole time, except by phone and mail. That and the nightmares recreating the accident...
There was the time ten+ years ago when my Mom almost died from flesh-eating disease. None of us were ready to lose her and, thankfully, she came out of it alive after several months in hospital.
Then there's all the friends I have lost to AIDS, many of whom died in hospitals - although none that I can remember at the one I'll be in.
I don't know. It's just a triggering time for me so I am glad I have a safe place to write about it.
"This above all; to thine own self be true."
William Shakespeare, Hamlet