i am seeing lots of changes in myself ,are they good? i dont know it seems like i am getting worse not better,i used to react to bad stuff by comming here and whinning till i got it out ,basicly just feelin g sorry for myself ,i dont think thats good ,but now when life dumps its latest load of shit on me ,i get pissed ,i get rage ,i run and hide from my friends just shut it all out ,and go looking for a fight,yesterday was one of my worst ,and i didnt want to deal with it or try to rationalize it or use it to heal ,i wanted to fight ,anyone anyplace,one of my neighbors said good morning ,and i bit his head off ,what he fuck is good about it i replied ,he gave me that well excuse me look and probably wont ever speak to me again. i dont understand why this is happening and i dont like it. not sure which is worse being an asshole or being a whiner .either way it feels like i'm not in control.
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice