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#127706 - 06/20/04 10:29 AM how big is our tent?
Blank Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/08/03
Posts: 10
Loc: San Francisco Bay Area
Hi guys,

I'm not on the discussion boards much, but some of you know me from the chatroom.

I'm going start a yahoo group for male survivors in my area, as a first step toward building a local "community." I want to help male survivors find each other even if we're not ready for or interested in group therapy or support meetings, or even sure that we're survivors.

Some guys in the chatroom have helped me polish my ideas on the subject, but there's a question I want more feedback on. How would you guys feel about a group of sexually traumatized males--guys who were only raped or sexually assaulted as adults, along with those who were violated as children?

I know that clinically we're different populations with different needs, but the two groups have a lot of *overlapping* needs, nothing would stop us from forming subgroups of one kind or another, and as a general organizing principle it's a good idea to "pitch a big tent," so you have more person-power to get things done with.

Would you guys be comfortable being part of a project that included men who had only been raped as adults? It could build some important bridges, but they can get their own web presence if it's going to make survivors of child abuse stay away in droves.

Let me know what you think.


#127707 - 06/21/04 03:56 AM Re: how big is our tent?
yesac76 Offline

Registered: 03/23/04
Posts: 508
Loc: Idaho
I would not have any problem with men raped as adults. To me, they are like the rest of us, and their would be more men to give support!

"You live it or lie it" Metallica

#127708 - 06/21/04 02:45 PM Re: how big is our tent?
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Blank. Rape of the body and soul knows no age that I can think of. It can happen at any time in your life. I was 16-17 when I was sexually raped. Hey every one of us is a brother.



#127709 - 06/21/04 11:08 PM Re: how big is our tent?
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills

I don't think that the age at which the rape happens is of any consequence. Rape is rape and shouldn't be minimized. I'm trying to get something similar going through the local rape crisis intervention. It's tough getting guys to seek help sometimes. I'm glad I did it and I'd like to help others heal too through a peer support group.


I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

#127710 - 06/22/04 02:36 AM Re: how big is our tent?
Ken Followell Offline
Past President

Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 992
Loc: Bradenton, FL

Keep the tent as big as you can in the beginning. If you have enough interest that it can be later divided, then great. If not, then welcome all men who have be violated. We already have enough things that can separate us from others. It is best I think to focus on that which we have in common.


Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

#127711 - 06/22/04 11:47 AM Re: how big is our tent?
blacken Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 08/13/01
Posts: 1908
Loc: Northern Ohio
Sexual abuse, in its many forms, is the avenue used in the Game of power over another individual.

All support groups deal with this unfair advantage of power. The person with more power uses it in many forms, i.e. sexual, physical, emotional, etc.

I think its more important to give men an opportunity to support one another in a group, than worrying about those details.
The men can grow & learn from each other, regardly of the age at which they were abused.


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

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