Like everybody else on the planet, I loathe all the crap that greets me at the front door when I get up in the morning; pleas and offers from insurance companies, loan companies, credit card companies and the like:
“LET US GIVE YOU LOADS OF MONEY, AND WE’LL GIVE YOU A FREE CARRIAGE CLOCK/TOOTHPASTE DISPENSER/CHEAP DVD PLAYER!
ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS SIGN YOUR HOME/LIFE/MARRIAGE/HAPPINESS OVER TO US! AND YOU HAVE TO DO IT RIGHT NOW! I SAID NOW, GODAMMIT!!!”
I’ve never really taken the time to consider that there must be someone, somewhere who is actually desperate enough to fill in the forms and send them back - and assuming that there is, then it follows that there must be someone, somewhere employed to trawl through the returned forms with a rubber stamp, thus beginning a concentrated onslaught of confusing financial terrorism against the unfortunate victims of these horrible scams and rip-offs.
But hey, there is a great answer.
Mail it back to them, better still send each one some other junk mail, because they are paying the postage
I worked in market research, but this is ridiculous!
Fill in the survey, and you will be entered into our free prize draw!
Why, do you want to know what my dog eats?
They even want to know what deodorant you use!
How many times I buy undies a year.
And what type of car I drive!
This is commercial terrorism at its best, big brother sending out even more junk mail to those who respond to it, give me a break.
Why should "I" have to deal with all this junk mail that I never asked for, so I stuff it all into the free reply envelopes and send it back to them.
You can be even more creative, by making small parcels, and gluing the freepay address to the parcel for speedy delivery.
Imagine if we all did this, these companies would have to employ lots more people to sort out their own junk mail, leading to more employment.
Then we get the Government to make a new law stating that they must re-use any undamaged junk mail that is sent back to them, and re-allocate any other junk mail to the original sender for them to re-use.
I remember at work getting a massive glossy brochure highlighting how good it would be to sell my pension rights.
It must have cost $$$, so I said to everyone, let us send it back to the guy who sent it.
We all agreed to box them up with the message "Save the rainforests".
Next instalment; How to thwart telemarketers,