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#125443 - 10/26/03 02:06 AM Just need to vent something
brian-z Offline

Registered: 07/11/02
Posts: 770
Loc: Western USA
I just got into an agument with my mother about my wake. She want a sad somber event with every one in black. I want a real Irish wake like my grandfather had. But I want a live band or a good JD and an open bar. It's my wake, what is so wrong with having my way on this. My enemies will celebrate my passing, why not my friends too. I am so sick of this. This is my life, why is eveything a battle. I'm going to get what I want one way or another, why does there have to a pointless fight about everything.

Thanks, I feel better.

#125444 - 10/26/03 06:08 PM Re: Just need to vent something
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
My wife Linda's family are from Kerry in Southern Ireland, and we've spent a lot of time there over the years with some of the loveliest people I've had the privilege of meeting, and saying "goodbye" to as well. I've been to some olympic wakes over there.

And there's nothing finer than celebrating someones life by getting drunk and telling funny stories about them.

It's a lot like coming here, we dont want to be here, but if we have to be then at least have some fun !

I hope it's a long way off Brian, for us both, but I've already told everyone that when I turn my toes up I'm claiming "Honorary Irish Nationality"

Take care.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#125445 - 10/27/03 01:54 AM Re: Just need to vent something
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5781
Loc: Lyons, CO USA
Seems to me that your wake should reflect your wishes. If you are committed to a good time, it should be your call, in my opinion. However, I hope that it will not be for any time soon. Best of health to you.

Blissfully retired after 35 years treating sexual abuse

#125446 - 10/27/03 10:20 AM Re: Just need to vent something
brian-z Offline

Registered: 07/11/02
Posts: 770
Loc: Western USA
This is me being sucked into her fight with her sisters. I think she is going to respect my wishes.

#125447 - 10/27/03 02:28 PM Re: Just need to vent something
crisispoint Offline

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Brian, I hope the need for this is a way's off. I'd miss you, bro!

As for what kind of wake I want, Irish is the way to go, and I hope to heck they have it where I'm laid out. Just stick a Guinness in my hand and I'm ready to face eternity. Besides, I can use that wonderful product to bribe St. Peter to let me in!

Love you, my brother. I hope you stay with us a long, long time.

Peace (and health (Sailte! (Gaelic sp?)))!


There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

#125448 - 10/27/03 07:45 PM Re: Just need to vent something
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills

Celebrating someone's life when they leave us is a very healing excercise. It's not for the dead it's for the ones who live on. Being able to talk and laugh and share our feelings about the one who's gone keeps them alive in our memories and makes their passing less painful.

I know from your posts that you're having a hard time of it. But I for one am better for having known you if only through this board. I'll celebrate your life along with all of your brothers here.

Take good care of yourself,


I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

#125449 - 10/27/03 08:39 PM Re: Just need to vent something
outis Offline

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2261
Loc: Maryland USA

Like the others I'm hoping that you don't have to have a wake too soon, but it should of course be your way.


Peace (and health
I can help with that. I speak Irish at home with the kids and many of my journal entries are as Gaeilge.

Síocháin 's sláinte, or more traditionally,
Sláinte 's fad saol agat! (Health and long life to you (singular)!)

Go raibh maith agat,


"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

#125450 - 10/29/03 01:52 AM Re: Just need to vent something
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Brian, your Mom is just speaking from the heart of a mother that feels it is wrong for a child to precede the parents in death.

It is good for any of us to make our wishes known. I have it down to the songs I want played, who I want for pall bearers etc.

Is there anything any of us can do to help make this time better for you? I sure think it is awful to face terminal illness alone or nearly so. Let us know.


If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

#125451 - 10/29/03 12:06 PM Re: Just need to vent something
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I am not so sure what you speak of, but am hoping that your death does not occur any time soon. I hope that you are not ill, and that you are able to keep yourself safe. I wish you well.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963


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