Yes, I thought that would be subject to get attention of people! haha

I am just 'sleepless in connecticut' again, although I did sleep quite a bit today. While awake today, I was mostly feeling sick and headache, and was feeling emotional down and crying a lot, something I do not do so very often. I am not so much sure why that is, but it was some hard. I am being most lazy rest of this week, not training or coaching at all again until Monday, to hope to get some strength back again.

I am finding myself facing some decisions of my life, my career, what I am currently doing and how long that can reasonable last for me. I am still mostly young, but my body is older! And I am realizing that it is not dealing so well of illness or injury anymore, and perhaps it is time to move strictly into coaching and give up performing at all, or competing. I have not competed real in almost a year, I do not know that I even could be competitive anymore. I will find that out on October third, but real, I am looking more at that as chance to confront 'him', rather than competition. So, is like a certain chapter of my life is leaving me now, or soon. I am not certain of that, but I am thinking it is 'twilight years' at me of somethings.

So I lie here, with my dog blowing bad air at me and looking at me as to blame it on me! (I should not have given him last of my dinner) And I wonder where my life is going now. I do not real know, and I feel some fear, some anxiety of it, but also, I do not know, feel some serenity of it also.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963