Newest Members
mmm coffee, Calibre09, FallGuy2154, Whoamitoday, Joe4618
13527 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
arty (49), atari_kid86 (31), ava_adore (31), babs (66), bkeithb (52), shylo (37), si (25), universe (36)
Who's Online
10 registered (LinEar, genedebs, Jer, betrayed boy, 4 invisible), 72 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,527 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,365 Topics
491,416 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#123838 - 05/21/05 02:32 AM Fear of mistake is fear of life?
ak Offline

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
I tell some people of this in an email, but then I start thinking on it more, and wanted to maybe say it here.

The training center I am at, like many others, they have a summer program, which helps to get children more interested in maybe becoming skater, and also have children from other coaches all over the country (and sometime world) come to our center for a week, or few weeks, or month to month and half. It is people of all ages, and everone there who is regular skater there, we all help with the coaching of all these children.

I like to work with the smaller children, who are not yet afraid of falling and get so excited with every small thing they do right, instead of worry of what they do wrong. (Unlike my friend, who say a 'child is not with a brain until they are at least ten'). So I work with the little ones, four and five and six years old who never have had skates on their feet, or are still very new to it. Most of them, they move their feet forward, and they love it, they laugh and are so excited and happy.

There is one girl, who was there for week a few months ago, she is like 5 years old, very small, and she is very smart, she learns things very fast. And her family seem very nice, but maybe they see how good she already is and how fast she learn, and they have dreams of next famous girl skater or something. She is five, not fifteen. She is little kid. Skating is suppose to be fun for her, not pressure. But she would, when she make mistake, she would get upset at herself or cry. And then she would not want to do the same thing again, probably afraid to make mistake again.

So what I would do with her, when she would make a mistake, or fall, I would do same thing, and then look at her and laugh, and say 'oh oh!' or 'oopsie' or something. And then would get up and try it again. She start doing that too, she would trip or fall or something, and instead of cry she would say 'oopsie' and laugh. It is not that she thinks it is funny to make mistakes. But it seem it take it away from her, the fear of doing it again.

Life is so much made up of mistakes. If everthing we try, it work first time, what do we learn of it? Maybe we learn something, but it is safe, boring learning. Or maybe we begin to think we are God! 'Look, I do everthing right without even trying so much'! We all have our 'oh oh's. We all have our 'oopsies'.

Maybe it is because part of my life, a long part of my life, is of competition. I have been in sport for 15 years. I am 19 years old. Maybe it is so much part of me now, I do not see myself without it.

But I think it better to compete and finish last then to have fear to compete at all. I think it is goal every skater, ones I know anyway, to go to Olympics. Maybe there is no chance, nothing at all, that they can medal, or maybe even get past short program. But to go, to be there, just to do that, that is something not so much people can say. To get there at all, that is a competition.

You can not be a competitor if you fear to compete. I have friend who do not like to compete against friends. If he is in competition against someone he is friend with, and he is doing well, it is like he realize it, and then start falling. That is something he has needed to work with. You can not fear to compete.

And we can not fear life. Yes, we will make our mistakes, our oh ohs, our ooopsies. But it is like to go to Olympics with no chance to medal. In life, just to get there, to move on to next thing, to learn from what we do and to KEEP ON doing things, that is the success, that is the reward. To fear mistakes is to fear living.

Of course, to learn from mistakes is also good. To be wary, to have guard, to protect ourself, it is still to be living. It is just to be living smarter.

Just is my thoughts, sorry if it is so long and make not so much sense.


#123839 - 05/21/05 03:53 AM Re: Fear of mistake is fear of life?
markgreyblue Offline

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
andrei - this is beautiful -

thank you for writing it


" not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous

#123840 - 05/21/05 04:06 PM Re: Fear of mistake is fear of life?
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
I agree Andrei, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.

#123841 - 05/21/05 04:29 PM Re: Fear of mistake is fear of life?
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I sure you are a good teacher, and you leave a positive mark on each childs life. You can be the best if you put the strength of your mind into the sport and leave fear behind. It is a strength you learnt,


Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

#123842 - 05/22/05 01:14 AM Re: Fear of mistake is fear of life?
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1798
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
good work!

#123843 - 05/23/05 03:41 AM Re: Fear of mistake is fear of life?
dan_in_newengland Offline

Registered: 07/06/01
Posts: 162
Loc: Mass
as usual AK, you make perfect sense.
you found a kid in need, and made them feel ok !!!
even when you might not be at your personal best ?
I applaud that !!!!


#123844 - 05/29/05 05:45 AM Re: Fear of mistake is fear of life?
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
haha, I've seen you slide on your belly and pretend to be a penguin as well. All the more reason I prefer older kids. If I slide on my gut, I may not get back up!

Thank you for sharing this, my friend. Your outlook on things is something that makes you truly special, to me and anyone who knows you.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.