Newest Members
jake1985, cactus8, Neil Benesh, blazzeee, mmm coffee
13531 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
isol8er (46), omrfople (41), zookeeper (54)
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 48 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,531 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,387 Topics
491,554 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#123479 - 01/01/07 04:20 PM Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
VN Offline

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
This is not of male survivor issues, but I think it can belong here. It is my imaginings of how my daughter would be now, almost age 9, and what kind of parents and family all children deserve.

I never got to see my child grow up. She was 22 months old when she died, not near old enough to know what kind of person she would have been, what kind of student, what she would have liked, what she would have done. I have done this, within myself, few times before in past. I thought I would share it here.

In 2006, my daughter Olesya, she would have been 8 years old. It is so hard for me, to believe of that. I still felt such as child when she was born, I was 19, and felt I was like, sometime, 40 years old, and other times, like I was 10 years old. And now, she would be almost turning 9 years age this month.

My daughter, even as she was so young when she died, she was very smart. I would read to her, and even at her young age, I could ask her, point to the dog, point to the cat, and she would point to right picture, almost always. I think she would been very smart in school, and like to read. I could see her bring home her school work, and we would always tell to her how proud we are.

She liked to 'dance' on my feet. I grown up as child with dance training, for many years, before I changed to other sport. We would raise her healthy, and to enjoy sport and dance and other exercise. I would hold her hands, she would stand on my feet, and we would dance, or I would just hold her in my arms and spin her around. She would laugh, and clap her hands. I could see easy, my daughter, to grow up in dance, becoming someone beautiful and artistic.

Anything she would do, we would encourage it. She would not need to be doing things as either her parents. Anything she would do, it would be good, because it is her doing it. Whether she like to draw, or write, or read, or dance, or anything else, we would tell her how smart she is, how special she is, how proud we are and how loved she is.

I think she would be tall. I am well more then 6 feet, and her mother, she was near to 5 feet 9 inches. Olesya, I think she would be tall, and probable rather thin, as always, both me and Larissa, we eat only the healthy foods. (But I could see my child eating candy and soda outside of home, and love it, just as most child!) She probable would still have quite long brown hair, and the brown eyes, and be even more beautiful then she was as baby.

My daughter, who would be 9 years old this month, she would grow up happy. She would have no reason to fear her parents, as I did. She would never be hit by her parents, as me. She would grow up happy, believing of herself as a good and strong person who can do anything she wants, and do it good. She would be encouraged, and she would know her parents are proud of her. She would grow up with laughter, and joking, and happiness. She would grow up knowing respect for her parents, and from her parents. She would grow up knowing she is importent. She would grow up with hugs. She would grow up loved. She would know she was loved.

My daughter would grow up having the best from me and her mother, and know how much she mean to us.

I hope one day, again I will be father, and I can do all the right things with a child as I would have want to with Olesya. And whatever child I ever have in my life, they will know of their sister, and know of her love also.


#123480 - 01/01/07 08:50 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
(((Visha))) That was beautiful!


Recovery is Possible!

#123481 - 01/01/07 10:07 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
visha you did all the right things

its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

#123482 - 01/01/07 10:08 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
TJ jeff Offline

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3578
Loc: Northern Wisconsin

Thank You for sharing this - it is a beautiful thing - your love of your daughter is so deep - if only all children could be blessed with such love...

I hope much for you too that you will be a father someday

TJ jeff

Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

#123483 - 01/01/07 10:30 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
FormerTexan Offline

Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 12126
Loc: Denver, CO

thank you for telling us about your daughter. I hear a wonderful resolve in what you say about being a father.


Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

#123484 - 01/02/07 12:27 AM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
Nobbynobs Offline

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto

I have no words for this. From one father to another, thank you so much for sharing.


When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

#123485 - 01/02/07 07:15 AM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
dan_in_newengland Offline

Registered: 07/06/01
Posts: 162
Loc: Mass
nice visha, a good tribute to her


#123486 - 01/02/07 08:12 AM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
FLRich Offline

Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 1404

#123487 - 01/02/07 02:07 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon
I have no words to express what this does in me. "Beautiful" does not cover it.


"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#123488 - 01/02/07 07:27 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
Elad 12 Offline

Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 1176
Loc: on the coast
That is very beautiful Visha.


#123489 - 01/02/07 09:53 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
sis Offline

Registered: 10/05/06
Posts: 195
Loc: Arizona
Very beautiful. i would be proud and blessed to have you as a parent. light and love, sis

#123490 - 01/04/07 02:47 PM Re: Imaginings for 2007, from other site I am with
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here

You are the kind of father that any of us here would have wanted to have for ourselves. Those who had a father like you, and those who did not have that good fortune.

Your daughter, who is so precious to you, she was very fortunate to have had you as a parent, and she would have remained lucky as she grew up with you.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.