Newest Members
tom93, ninjei, JollyRoger, AnonymousJerry, Golden_Phoenix
13510 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
BigJo (73), MaxEnnis (2017), PS (42), Squirmish20 (37), Sulfuric Acid (32), Tucker (39)
Who's Online
2 registered (2 invisible), 47 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,510 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,159 Topics
489,832 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#121533 - 11/20/03 05:41 PM forums: gender or partnership?
tschirret Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 10/16/03
Posts: 20
Hi everybody

Emotions are riding high on the topic of a women's forum. I am a woman, new to this site. I will give my thoughts on the subject here, but if you want to move the post to family and friends, that's fine.

Now the question that I would like to raise is the following:
Having the forums for males only (besides the family-friends one): would it then be possible for male partners of SA survivors to participate, because they are men, not because they are partners?
Is it relevant to divide membership along the line of gender, rather that on the ground of involvement with a male SA survivor?

I feel that the family and friends is an appropriate forum for non male SA members to post. ....IF SA survivors take the time to read the posts. We ask questions about SA because we are involved with an SA survivor who, usually, is not yet at a place where he can help us make sense of its consequences. It is important to have a place where we can vent our frustration, (even if it might seem to some to be done in too strong a way), our successes, hopes, etc. The topics where mostly male SA survivors post are important to us, because your experiences help us try and figure out what is going on with our partners.
That partner might have been you, or could be you.

I hope that we can resolve this problem because we all need, in different ways, what this site has to offer.



#121534 - 11/26/03 11:28 PM Re: forums: gender or partnership?
Joey G. Offline

Registered: 10/22/03
Posts: 28
Loc: FL
I was told that women can post only in the Family and Friends forums. A number of us have told the Board that we object to women being here.

#121535 - 11/27/03 12:00 AM Re: forums: gender or partnership?
tschirret Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 10/16/03
Posts: 20

Quoting Joey:"A number of us have told the Board that we object to women being here. "

Do you (and others) mean that you object to women being on any of the forums (including the "Board & chat room questions" one), except for the F & F?
Just asking to make things clear for me.

#121536 - 11/27/03 03:46 AM Re: forums: gender or partnership?
outis Offline

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2261
Loc: Maryland USA
It's too bad we lost the thread that Jeff started because I think we had brought a lot of these issues out for discussion there.

Several of us pointed out that there are women who have a strong interest in the well being of male survivors. There really is no other place on the web like this.

We discussed the fact that some guys come here and think that only guys are here. One of the suggestions was that we have some more explicit warning that the posys in the public area are exactly that, public.

Like that New Yorker cartoon said, "On the Internet no one knows you're a dog." There is no way to be absolutely sure that only men enter the forum.

Several women joined in the discussion and each of them wanted to feel welcome in order to keep posting.

Several guys would like the site to be exclusively for men. (For the record, I am not one of those guys.) Several guys would like to continue offering a forum for partners (male and female) and other people concerned about male survivors to receive support and to seek insight into the issues from the views of male survivors. Sometimes we male survivors don't agree on things, so there are several views for them to understand.

Finally, we discussed the fact that the Members' Area is more private. At the very least it is not freely available to casual web surfers.

That's my quick synopsis of what we were discussing in the other thread. Please fill in what you think I missed.

I was really happy that we were able to keep that thread informational and not a flame war. I hope we can pick up the discussion here now and continue the constructive dialog. (Or is that dialogue? \:D )



"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

#121537 - 11/29/03 04:30 AM Re: forums: gender or partnership?
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I contributed my thoughts to that original thread. i do think that it is helpful to ladies, or anyone who is a supporter of a survivor, to read the male forum. However, I do not think it proper for a female to post or respond there. Anywhere else on this site, I do not think it is a problem, in my mind anyway. And I recently posted something on the male forum that specifically said 'No ladies please'. I believe that my wishes were respected by the ladies who are here. At least, no ladies responded to it. So I felt secure with that issue being there.

Just is my thoughts.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963


I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.