please read Homophobia and masculinities among young men (Lessons in becoming a straight man)
This totally make since to me, it explains a lot. All through school the kids in the male peer group would try to get me to fight, and I wouldn't do it. From first grade to fifth grade I stayed with the girl peer group, as you did not have to fight to get into the group. To get into the male peer group you have to be willing to fight to get in. My dad was very insistent that we only fight for a good reason, he did not want us fighting at school! About the only way I could get phrase from my dad is if I told him that some boys tried to get me to fight in school but I refused to fight them. Another reason I think that the boys wanted to fight me is I was taller than all the other boys, so if they could beat me it would impress the girls. I was born in January, so I didn't start first grade till I was almost seven, so I was taller than the other boys. I think the reason my dad didn't want me to fight was, my dad was a gentle giant, 6'1" and weighed 350 pounds. While he had a gut, my dad was the strongest man I have ever known. He had huge muscles, dad played both high school and college football. When he was a boy my granddad taught him boxing, it was a one punch lesson. My dad hit once and knocked him out cold, that was the end of the boxing lessons.
Back to the subject at hand. fifth grade was a very bad year for me, the girls peer group kicked me out, I was to old to play with the girls, The boys peer group still rejected me, I was raped by a stranger older boy in a park, and my mom and dad got a divorce. Before the rape, while I refused to fight, I was not afraid to fight. After the rape, I still refused to fight, but I knew that I was a coward, I was afraid of any and everyone. From then on I played by myself.
Dating, I never dated in school, what girl would want to date a coward. I also never went steady in high school. I graduated high school in 1975 with very low marks, and as they still had the draft going, I volunteered for the navy. Maybe I'll talk about life in the navy later.
What do you think about the article? I think I am mad.