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#12091 - 11/08/01 07:22 AM Scary time

Hi, I am over here in Germany and doing great but I had an experience last night that scared me. I was going into the sauna (over here it is nude) and an old man grabbed me "down there". I don't know what he said because it was in German but I knew I didn't like it. It made me feel like I was eighth years old all over again. I stayed in the sauna until he left and then I came home. I told my girlfriend what happened but I was wondering if it is ok that it took me back to my abuse all of a sudden like that. Shouldn't I be able to deal with things without them moving me to tears or scaring me?

#12092 - 11/08/01 12:19 PM Re: Scary time
bosishere Offline

Registered: 02/14/01
Posts: 161
Loc: nashville,tn,usa
hello OOB 1002. In this post I feel you DID the right thing. Yes you put him off, but more importantly, I think, you waited until he left and upon reaching your home you spoke to your girlfriend about what happened.I don't know how many years have elapsed between now and eight (8) years old, but I do know things make your mind go back to when you were abused and then you cry, get scared or both. I had thought I had put the abuse out of my mind, but after 51 years it has come back with me crying in public, pounding my leg and feeling why the hell am I now being tormented with something that happeded a long time ago. I would say, if this problem gets worse or continues, perhaps you should talk to a therapist. bosishere

#12093 - 11/08/01 02:40 PM Re: Scary time
SoCalJohn Offline

Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California

I think you did great.

You got triggered by some unwelcome advances, you put his advances off, you stayed safe and then went home, talked it out some and your still reaching out for some support, good plan dude!

As far as your question,

**Shouldn't I be able to deal with things without them moving me to tears or scaring me?**

That would be nice, for you, for me, for everyone, but like my kids say,, *its like christmas, you get what you get*

When things come up and throw you a little bit, what i do is be nice to myself, find a place or way to talk it out and get some perspective on it and then i hopefully get it kinda put away and move on, i dont know any other way for me.

I think you did great, really.


I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.


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