This is the third part of Pufferfish’s story. It is probably triggering, so if you think you might be triggered, turn it off now. Pufferfish does not want to become a triggerfish.
Now comes the good part. Pufferfish moved to a small town in Northern Colorado with his other set of grand parents. The good part is that these grandparents were wonderfully loving and nurturing. Pufferfish responded almost immediately to their wonderful home. Pufferfish was healing. The Grandmother was warm and full of hugs and the Grandfather was a good man. He took Pufferfish lots of places. They went to the mountain streams to fish and roast hot dogs. Driving through the pine forests, Pufferfish was able to enjoy the wind whistling through the trees and enjoy the majestic peaks. They went to see trains, where Grandpa knew an engineer who let Pufferfish up into the cab where they drive the train so that Pufferfish could blow the whistle. They went arrowhead hunting. He put little Pufferfish, now 5, on his knee and told him stories. He was a wonderful story teller. Pufferfish was well into recovery. The Grandma had a wonderful birthday party for Pufferfish with lots of children there. There was a fat Dalmatian dog named Mickey who lived a few houses away, but who came to the house where Pufferfish was staying and delighted him with chasing his own tail (not a sexual reference).
Later the time came for Pufferfish to go to school. The very first day of school, as all the children filed out of the school to go home, one big boy 12-years-old was standing there watching all the kids. He came over to Pufferfish and asked him if he would like to come to the “Monday Afternoon Club”. Pufferfish thought this sounded good and so he said “OK”. He took Pufferfish and another small boy to a rickety old garage nearby. The big boy said that his friend would be there in a few minutes. So he went ahead and started with the other little boy. He pulled down his pants and played with his thing and then put his own thing in the little boys behind. Then the other big boy of 12 arrived riding fast on a rusty old bike which he leaned up against the side of the garage. Then he did the same thing to Pufferfish that had been done to the other boy. And that was the Monday Afternoon Club. They told Pufferfish and the other little boy that they could come back every Monday for more. This went on for about 2 months. Then Pufferfish got very sick with the German measles. Pufferfish missed all the rest of school through the Christmas vacation. He missed all the Monday clubs too (fortunately). When Pufferfish returned to school after Christmas, it was too cold to go to the garage. They went to the big boy’s house where they played naked games. So Pufferfish was a lightening rod for abuse.
It soon became time to change addresses again. Pufferfish’s Father returned from his military duty. Pufferfish was making a model airplane and had his Father help him. Then it was time to move to the big important city. Pufferfish was glad that his Daddy was finally home and could play with him. Pufferfish’s daddy would come home from work and sit in the easy chair to read the paper. Pufferfish would sneak up behind him and tickle the hair in his ear. This didn’t go on too long until the Daddy snapped the paper down and said something rude. Pufferfish stopped tickling his Dad’s ear. The family could now gather together at dinner table to have evening meal together. Pufferfish had terrible table manners however. His father saw this immediately and gave Pufferfish harsh orders as how to handle his knife and fork. His military command voice was still right at the tip of his tongue and he used it to get Pufferfish’s obedience. Pufferfish tried to comply, but sometimes he would get up and leave the room. Pufferfish’s report card said that he was underweight. Pufferfish found that he could retreat into a “fog” in his own thoughts. This became a habit. Pufferfish was also retreating into a fog a lot at school. The teacher told Pufferfish’s Mother that he was having trouble reading.
Pufferfish’s Mother and Father became active in a social dinner club. Lots of “respectable” parents would get together to eat and drink (a lot). Sometimes they would have a cookout where all the children would come along. The first cookout a big boy several years older than Pufferfish whom I will refer to as “Predator Boy” (DS) gathered all the smaller boys like Pufferfish into the bathroom and showed them how to play with themselves (masturbation).
A few weeks later Pufferfish’s Mother took him to visit a lady friend who was in the dinner club. She told Pufferfish that the friend had two young boys like himself and that they would be glad to play with Pufferfish. The boys had a toy train set up on the bedroom floor. The younger brother was showing Pufferfish the trains and then reached over and pulled down his pants. The older brother turned out to be Predator Boy (DS), who came in from playing ball. He anally abused poor little Pufferfish. Well, the drunken dinner club went on about every month. Whenever they had all the children together (about twice a year), Predator Boy would rape Pufferfish. The last time Pufferfish remembers before they moved again, the dinner club had their meeting in the mountains. Predator Boy and some others chased Pufferfish into the bathroom where he raped Pufferfish again. One of the big bosses came in and saw what was happening on the bathroom floor and backed out closing the door.
Pufferfish’s teacher in second grade said that Pufferfish should be a “Quiz Kid” (today it is called “Can You Outsmart a 5th Grader” (I know, wrong grade)). Pufferfish loved music class. The teacher wanted him to be the MC in a little music production. Pufferfish’s mind habitually drifted or went “bye-bye” during many classes and he didn’t know what the teacher wanted. Pufferfish had trouble reading because of his eye problem (strabismus). In third grade, Pufferfish volunteered to be a school crossing guard. The teachers gave him a low grade which made Pufferfish very sad. He decided to run away, so he walked around and around the city blocks but he couldn’t get far because he wasn’t allowed to cross Colorado Boulevard or Colfax. Pufferfish felt “safe” at school but he hated and dreaded school.
Pufferfish was a loner in school. His mother got him into cub scouts. But Pufferfish made the mistake of doing something “sexy” (mutual fondling) with another boy, so he was no longer in cub scouts. Pufferfish found a friend down the street whom he really liked. But again, Pufferfish again did something “sexy” with him and the friend's little brother told on them and the friendship was ended
Pufferfish had been taught to sexualize relationships by older boys. This ended the relationships. Pufferfish had already learned how to dissociate. Pufferfish couldn't learn very well from these mistakes because of dissociation. He hid all the bad stuff in a box in his brain which meant he couldn't learn from it. Dissociation was also his daydreaming in class and at the dinner table. Pufferfish was without friends and his parents were busy with their own lives. He was very lonely. . Sometimes Pufferfish got very sad.