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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Caretaking & Feeling Insecure by Chris4TheMill @ 10/16/17 08:54 PM

Thanks a lot guys, Some more about that statement "All it takes is one more - even something small and the whole thing collapses." I saw a neurologist last week who did some neuro and memory testing on me, and I asked him about this phe
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: teasing by KMCINVA @ 10/16/17 07:48 PM

Lee I think you hit it on the head, the teasing is not mean spirited. I think this is a fine line and repetitive teasing can become hurtful to many. Laughing at oneself is important so as not to take ourselves too seriously. I believe everyone rea
Health and Wellbeing
Jump to new posts Re: EMDR and me by Ceremony @ 10/16/17 05:52 PM

Today, I work late, and had a chance to participate in #MeToo. It's made me cry a number of times. During it, I found a movie on YouTube and it too is making me cry. It's called "Delivery Man": I don't have a true connection to my
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Visiting your Inner Child by AuthenticMe @ 10/16/17 02:39 PM

One of my most powerful healing tools involved sending love and positive thoughts to a picture of myself around the time the abuse happened. This practice was suggested to me in the context of spirituality, not healing from CSA, so it wasn't attached
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Is ok to cry?? by LinEar @ 10/16/17 02:07 PM

I have a hard time with this. I had the "I will give you something to cry about" as well as "If you don't tell me why you're crying, I'll take you to someone who'll make you tell me!" i.e. a therapist. Is it any wonder it took me
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Behaving around children by Greg56 @ 10/16/17 01:27 PM

"Lone Wolf"...I started feeling that same way, when this subject started "hitting" the news. I still feel that same way. Although it's really difficult to not wave back or say hi to a smiling child. Most of the time I ignore th
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: want to write this down by KMCINVA @ 10/16/17 11:46 AM

Iaccus What you wrote makes sense and I have been told is part of the healing process. Pieces here, pieces there but I cannot bring them together to make sense. I have been told it is the process of unraveling how we think of ourselves, the abuse
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Being Naked - Trigger Warning! by dark empathy @ 10/16/17 11:31 AM

Depending upon how one defines virgin, I was still one at 33 as well and thought I'd pretty much continue to be one. I was extremely genophobic (afraid of s/x and anything to do with it), found dirty jokes or s/xual humour very triggering, hating the
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Having a rough time. by Bluedogone @ 10/16/17 08:38 AM

Hi Tyler, I’m really sorry to read that you’re having a tough time of it right now. Everyone has the good and bad, but it seems you’ve had more than your share of the bad. (((((Tyler))))) Although there are others, Halloween has never been a
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: This song really resonates with us. Link to vid by Chris4TheMill @ 10/16/17 03:17 AM

I've always really liked that song alot. One day maybe 10 years ago, I was walking past Bryant Park on my way to work, and Train was there playing that song live. It sounded just as good as it did on the recording.
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: Abused by Gran then my self for life TRIGGER by Eternal18 @ 10/15/17 01:46 PM

I don't know. I've worked out that there are stats for abuse like 1/3 females and 1/6 males. But then you need to look at the duration, severity, and impact. I'd much rather some pig groped me for a minute than I was in such a sick pathological r
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I'm grieving the loss of a transgender teen by LoneWolfX @ 10/15/17 10:34 AM

Why does someone dislike another person for no reason? I don't dislike anyone unless they do something to hurt me or their morals are bad. For example, If someone is annoying I won't dislike them or be mean - I will just find them annoying! An excep
Survivors of Female Abuse
Jump to new posts Re: Are ALL women this awful? Or is it just me? by Chris4TheMill @ 10/15/17 06:04 AM

Guys, I gave up hope for many years too. It is just recently that I am trying again. I feel stronger now to face the issues and the rejection. And yes, I am getting ghosted and rejected too. A lot of women are not going to give me the time o
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: something good for a change by Chris4TheMill @ 10/15/17 12:58 AM

[Yay!] for a good family interaction. I know how rare those can be sometimes. I am glad it was a positive memory because we sure need more of those.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: A second opinion (or third, or…) by Bluedogone @ 10/15/17 12:21 AM

I believe that a dream means something significant only to the one with the dream. Whether it's too much spicy pizza before bedtime, or a meaningful thought provoking dream is determined by you. The dream may have taken on a more ominous tone sin
Humor
Jump to new posts Re: Elephant stories by Bluedogone @ 10/14/17 11:08 PM

Funny, funny bit. Thanks usmc97 for posting this. Vicky Lawrence once said her line at the end "You think the little asshole's finished" was repeated on other TV shows so many times, it paid for all her children's college.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: More validation issues... TRIGGER WARNING by iaccus @ 10/14/17 11:05 PM

Someone once told me that your truth belongs to you. No one can give it or take it away, only you can do that.
Sexual Identity Issues
Jump to new posts Re: Views on men/women by Chris4TheMill @ 10/14/17 05:57 PM

TTL, Very cogent explanation of the many complex issues you are going through. I will say though that these issues are fairly common and I would say they do not mean you are one sexual identity or another. While growing up, our identities are sti
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sexual problems by Eternal18 @ 10/14/17 04:53 PM

Thank you very much. I will read the articles and see if it addresses any of my specific concerns. Yes right now I feel awful. The site has definitely triggered some buried feelings but I expect it will lead to progress.
Health and Wellbeing
Jump to new posts Re: physical or psychological? by Greg56 @ 10/14/17 03:36 PM

I've been thinking about this post since I wrote it. I usually think more clearly if I write things down. As for physical: I think that the urges may be physical. I don't know...maybe I/we need to relieve some kind of physical sexual issue for som
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: 42 days, still no doctor by KMCINVA @ 10/14/17 03:08 PM

USMC97 You are significant--you have much to offer. Do not let the ineptness of the VA services push you down. I understand your frustration, sense of loss. I do hope you realize we are here for you and I hope in the very near term you have a docto
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Mark by KMCINVA @ 10/14/17 02:35 PM

Greg56 I am sorry to hear of Mark. We never know what is happening in one's life, what they have suffered or lived. As a survivor I know I never told anyone until later in life. There was a boy with me at times of the abuser. He died a few years af
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bullies the Damage You Cause by KMCINVA @ 10/14/17 02:24 PM

Some people do not realize their actions are those of a bully. They grow up in environments that can be loving but behaviors of mocking or pushing people away are those of bullies. Everyone in this world has an issue, some have higher values of the
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: What If... by Greg56 @ 10/13/17 07:48 PM

A "what if moment" In HS, I think it was in 8th or 9th grade. I had always been a good student, but I loved history. I had a history teacher who really cared about me. This was a time when I had become very afraid that people would find
Sexual Identity Issues
Jump to new posts Re: deciding to quit porn by SmartShadow @ 10/13/17 06:12 PM

Originally Posted By Jay1946Originally Posted By SmartShadow This website is my recovery group I SECOND THAT!
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