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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Detached? by Ceremony @ 02/19/17 08:46 AM

Hi BDD, I get you man, I get you! The spark is there, our boy inside is tapping on the window of our mind and he's ready to join us hand in hand. I cry about that thought, to visualize my boy, timidly trying to catch eye contact, just unsure, not kno
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: My Partner (spouse) by Ceremony @ 02/19/17 08:34 AM

Tome E. Good to see you, though the subjects here are not easy. HealingHope moves me when she posts. It's like, wow, there's a partner! Sure, the territory has ups and downs, but the long term connection, exemplified by so many here. I've considered
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Detached? by BDD @ 02/19/17 07:47 AM

Therapy didn't go as I planned. LOL. Suddenly just because I say I want to be rid of everything I have packed away for 52 years, I will? This stuff isn't in a flimsy cardboard box, it's well guarded behind complex traps and locks. But the fight is
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: My Partner (spouse) by HealingHope @ 02/19/17 03:39 AM

Hi Tom I can relate to this, my survivor told me everything from day one, and I thought I understood but I DIDN'T understand not the way I do now. I didn't understand how I may trigger him, how my earlier expectations of our relationship seemed impos
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts My Partner (spouse) by Tom E. @ 02/19/17 02:03 AM

Hi all... my partner knows about the bullying & sex abuse I went through, hes's aware of it, but at the same time, I don't think he really GETS IT if you know what I mean... how much it impacted my whole life & attitudes. --- Tom
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: struggling to communicate by Tom E. @ 02/19/17 01:55 AM

What you have to say IS important, and we need to hear it. - Tom E
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Envying Perpetrators by Tom E. @ 02/19/17 01:53 AM

Hi MojaveMike--- I too have felt weak, passive, introverted all my life & wish I could have been strong & assertive instead. I blamed myself for a long time that I let the abuse happen. Now I'm getting better at not blaming myself.
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: What made you feel good today? by Tom E. @ 02/19/17 01:35 AM

What made me feel good? Well I woke up, prayed for help from HP, exercised, ate pretty healthy, coffee is always good, listened to music by Cecil Taylor, showered, went to a 12 step meeting, came home, watched SNL, & now just chillin'... p
Off Topic
Jump to new posts What made you feel good today? by greenwizard @ 02/19/17 12:06 AM

I thought maybe I'd put this here so we could share the good things in our lives. Things that made us smile. I will start by saying I worked up the courage to do a very good thing for me. Also, on her way home from work my girlfriend stopped at
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Husband's insecurities by greenwizard @ 02/18/17 11:44 PM

The best advice I can give is to keep being as supportive as you can. Masculinity, and size and everything, it makes my head spin. Unlike Ceremony, I was lucky enough to go to a school that never required showers after gym class. The showers were
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Detached? by zookeeper @ 02/18/17 11:05 PM

Bri Great work and keep at it. You may find that, suddenly, you have made a great deal of progress! B
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I did it by zookeeper @ 02/18/17 11:03 PM

Good Work This is tough stuff but you can do it! Your very proud friend Zoo
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I did it by greenwizard @ 02/18/17 09:54 PM

I have most definitely been on a roller-coaster today, but I think as the day is winding down I am in a better place. I was texting my girlfriend while she was on break. For being such a good boy in the bedroom this morning and for taking the giant
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: dentist visit - Possible TRIGGERS! by greenwizard @ 02/18/17 09:46 PM

That's awesome you had that realization. My girlfriend has said the same thing to me in a way. Having a reaction to something just means I'm human and have feelings. I think society tends to teach us feelings are a female thing, but that's really
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: dentist visit - Possible TRIGGERS! by traveler @ 02/18/17 09:12 PM

Thank you all for your supportive and affirming words. It really helped to hear them. But there is more to the story. Here is the follow up. As I mentioned, I sort of holed up and hibernated (read: isolated) for a couple of days and then met with th
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Nostalgic by Ceremony @ 02/18/17 08:54 PM

Yeah, it seems I leave a lot off my play lists. Thanks for the inspiration. I had a somewhat sad summer, my girlfriend went home for the summer. She was at college when we met. It was 3 long months. I listened to Bread a lot: About a decad
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Husband's insecurities by Ceremony @ 02/18/17 08:39 PM

There are probably many men here and perhaps some women in this forum who can discuss this topic. That's to note, I think this topic is more prevalent than I thought? I'm among the large frame men, who were very skinny and too effeminate to be one of
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: MojaveMike just joined by WG @ 02/18/17 08:23 PM

Hello MojaveMike - Welcome - its OK to be a bit nervous, this is all new to you. It was all new to us once so we understand. We also understand your need to be here. As manipulated said - you are not alone. We're here with you. As you begin your walk
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: I'm new to this forum by WG @ 02/18/17 08:15 PM

I would echo what they've said - welcome. At the same time, sad you have to be here - just like us. Use the resources made available to you - I didn't think I needed any one of the ones opened to me, then discovered just how needy I was and began th
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Husband's insecurities by Nalh78 @ 02/18/17 07:57 PM

Nalh78
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Husband's insecurities by Nalh78 @ 02/18/17 07:57 PM

Need advise, my husband recently opened up to me about the extent of his abuse. This has caused him to have many trigger days. We have been together 24 years. We started dating when I was 15 and he was 18. Apparentlytold him when I first saw it that
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Nostalgic by traveler @ 02/18/17 06:47 PM

Feeling nostalgic today... in a good way. Here are some songs from way back that lifted my spirits - like positive affirmations. Peaceful, beautiful and inspiring. Enjoy!
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I did it by traveler @ 02/18/17 06:22 PM

Well done, greenwizard! i hope you feel stronger and more in control for having told. just be sure that you don't make your future well-being dependent upon a favorable outcome of the police action. It is a victory to have overcome your fears and br
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Envying Perpetrators by George @ 02/18/17 05:50 PM

" My question is do any of you envy the Perpetrators? I have defined manhood as the kind of guy that is a psychopath Totally consumed with himself and lacking empathy. I view myself as weak and A victim, which I know is common. But do other guys
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts I did it by greenwizard @ 02/18/17 05:24 PM

The past week since coming on here and reading everyone's stories and struggles, and talking to my girlfriend about all kinds of things, it has caused me to do a lot of thinking about the thing I've been trying most days to forget about. The power m
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