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Forum   Subject
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Was this sexual abuse? by UniversalBeing @ 11/21/17 04:27 PM

Thanks for sharing. I can't stand that either. I used to think I was weird but now it makes sense.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Was this sexual abuse? by traveler @ 11/21/17 04:25 PM

yeah - sometimes that kind of gesture is a secret sign of ownership - a reminder of previous activity that was unwelcome. i still cant stand to have someone touch my shoulder or breathe on my neck. if i know it is coming, i can brace myself - but oth
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Was this sexual abuse? by UniversalBeing @ 11/21/17 04:09 PM

Originally Posted By travelereven an otherwise innocuous action can become abusive (such as placing a hand on a neck or shoulder or a quick pat on the butt or knee.) That's great insight. There were many times when he would pat me on the butt or try
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Was this sexual abuse? by traveler @ 11/21/17 03:56 PM

there were many events in my childhood that were difficult for me to identify as a particular type of abuse because they mixed elements of so many different types - like this event. not everything fits neatly into a specific category. as you suggeste
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Was this sexual abuse? by UniversalBeing @ 11/21/17 03:20 PM

@Bluedogone thanks. Changing the roles to father-daughter definitely makes it clear it was abuse.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Was this sexual abuse? by Bluedogone @ 11/21/17 01:51 PM

YES DEFINITELY, If there’s any doubt about this, just change the scenario to a father and a daughter in that same situation. Strict discipline is one thing, and MAY be necessary, but I think his action crossed the line from poor judgement into
Family and Friends
Dear Hh, I again feel so much for you! The wanting to make sense of this insanity. But as my T says....you can't make the abnormal normal. And child sexual abuse is the most abnormal. It is what I think wears us out the most....just like them. If we
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Was this sexual abuse? by LoneWolfX @ 11/21/17 01:23 PM

Yes! It is a form of sexual abuse.
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Back again by KMCINVA @ 11/21/17 12:55 PM

Nathan I am glad you found you way back and I hope it is just for a tune up and your DID symptoms are getting under your control. I suffer dissociation with fugues and blackouts. I know how scary it is not to remember where and what you have done. Y
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: A hauntingly beautiful song by Ceremony @ 11/21/17 11:18 AM

I've liked Heather's cover of "Wicked" and other, and that "Island" is hauntingly beautiful. A strong song for a child. Thanks for sharing it.
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Just another song by UniversalBeing @ 11/21/17 07:47 AM

iaccus you have a taste for selecting good songs.
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: These small hours song by UniversalBeing @ 11/21/17 07:44 AM

That's a beautiful song iaccus. I'll add it to my letting go playlist.
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts A hauntingly beautiful song by UniversalBeing @ 11/21/17 07:37 AM

Heather Nova - Island: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4zaPdwszL0 I love the lyrics. They explain sexual and physical abuse very well. She survives by keeping her imagination or her inner world hidden from him. I used to listen to this song a lot w
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Some insights on healing attachment styles needed by HealingHope @ 11/21/17 07:25 AM

Thank you both for taking time to help me with this. Ceremony, I absolutely see the battle you describe to not let the inner child dictate your anxiety. I think this is what is at the route of all the attachment styles. We have to learn to notice who
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: How I understand it by UniversalBeing @ 11/21/17 07:16 AM

Yes, and the grieving process is long, takes time, and it is not linear. You can break through some denial, experience grief, then feel better, and then another denial is broken and some more grief. Eventually, the storm will settle, the waves of pai
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Some insights on healing attachment styles needed by dark empathy @ 11/21/17 07:07 AM

I didn’t recognize the preoccupied attachment stiles business until I looked it up on Wikipedia, so thanks for that. One problem with reading up on diagnoses is that one is always tempted to diagnose oneself, especially when there are categories
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Was this sexual abuse? by UniversalBeing @ 11/21/17 06:53 AM

This might be triggering to some. I remember when I was 3rd or 4th grade. I was reaching puberty. I didn't want to take a shower or I didn't want my mother to give me a bath. I wanted to do it myself. I was starting to mature and I did not want my m
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: That anxiety effect from doing some things by seachange @ 11/21/17 04:19 AM

Ceremony, I agree with genedebs, and I think you’re brave and your commitment to be open and honest here about a deep issue that connects all the way back is inspiring. I get the sense from reading your posts you are a naturally supportive person
Classifieds
Disappointed, The abuse I endured occurred at summer camp in another state, however, as a Georgia native and resident this is encouraging information. Thank you for sharing. Will
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: That anxiety effect from doing some things by genedebs @ 11/21/17 02:57 AM

Ceremony, You are a greeter. Of course feeling connected is reality. You invite people to belong and be safe when ever you meet them. Your self shaming forces you to focus on your anxiety. And your anxiety translates to fear. I can always come
Male Survivors
Now Charlie Rose--one of the most highly respected journalists. It seems he has admitted to some of the allegations. The world needs to wake up and stop putting its head in the sand. It disgusts me to no end, I had respect for Rose but now he is a
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: One thing I am doing less of. by traveler @ 11/20/17 10:43 PM

Sorry, there aint no quick fix. otherwise, MS wouldn't have 13,572 registered members. but you are right, it is a good sign that you are expecting that less. think of it this way - that is 13,571 other guys who get it and who are wanting you to su
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts One thing I am doing less of. by FallGuy2154 @ 11/20/17 10:00 PM

Initially when I finally admitted that I was abused I scoured the internet for some sort of quick fix to take the shame, fear, anxiety and shock away. It was like I was searching for some miracle panacea that would make me feel OK. I have noticed
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Do you ever wonder "if I were loved"? by UniversalBeing @ 11/20/17 10:00 PM

Wow. I'm glad this post touched many people and enabled others to express their feelings. It also helped me name the feeling and the experience. It is grief and mourning. Thanks Chris4TheMills. usmc97 I know what you are talking about. I am glad I l
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts Latest Appointment / trans & gay by SDD757 @ 11/20/17 08:30 PM

I just wanted to run this by some of you it sounded right when it was explained to me but now I’m not so sure. -Children don’t think logically, beliefs about yourself when you are a child are powerful and hard to break as an adult. - I’m not
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