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Forum   Subject
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Husband states he can't or is not willing to try by WontGiveUp @ 08/26/16 07:55 PM

Wifenneed, I am very sorry... I know how you are feeling right now, as I am in the same position. My husband doesnt want to try either. He wants to run way and hide from it And there is nothing I can do to stop him or convince him otherwise. It
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Its been a while.. by WontGiveUp @ 08/26/16 07:31 PM

Thank you WG.... It has been very lonely. And I do love him - with my whole heart. And its so hard to see everything we have built come to this. he is still here with me - in our home for the time being until certain things happen. Every day its
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Its been a while.. by WG @ 08/26/16 07:17 PM

Dear Wont - So sorry to hear this, How lonely it must have been for you - even by his side. Yes, of course you love him, you did share something but it is no longer. You have done what you could over the years. You have apparently done nothing to de
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Its Taken Too Long by WG @ 08/26/16 07:10 PM

Thanks, guys. I like to write , it's apparently something I know how to do. It started about 2 years ago (I'm 62 so its not like this is a high school writing exercise) when my T asked me to write out some of my earliest memories about vacations with
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Its been a while.. by WontGiveUp @ 08/26/16 04:12 PM

I stopped coming here for a long time. Maybe i should not have, I dont know. I do know that my husband has given up, on himself, and on us. The monsters has won. The abusers have retained their control of him. Its just a matter of time before ev
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Its Taken Too Long by zookeeper @ 08/26/16 12:39 PM

WG, thank you for sharing this. Wow, I agree that this is really nice work. For all these years I have taken care of anybody BUT me. It sounds like Im not the only one. You Friend B
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Feeling anxious. Acting out. by WG @ 08/26/16 08:54 AM

bluesky - Part of getting better is recognizing what we are feeling - and not just having it control us and push us around. Been there, done that - we all in here have. At least you have yourself in a place where you are acknowledging what you are fe
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Feeling anxious. Acting out. by KMCINVA @ 08/26/16 08:36 AM

Bluesky I am sorry you are feeling anxious. The past has a terrible habit of intruding on our present. Recognizing its impact is powerful, because it allows you to recognize the need to continue processing the memories of the past. For me, I thoug
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Dreams How They Change by KMCINVA @ 08/26/16 08:28 AM

Thank you for the encouragement. It is definitely a change in life for me. A new sense of freedom and serenity. Now I just need to jump start other parts of my life instead of just savoring the moments. I am working on focus, focusing on life as
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Feeling anxious. Acting out. by woodenshoes @ 08/26/16 08:22 AM

Bluesky Glad to see you working through your issue at hand. You have to know you are a good person that was taken advantage of. My thoughts ,and prayers are there for you. You have lots of support here. Keep us updated on how things are going.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Feeling anxious. Acting out. by bluesky @ 08/26/16 07:37 AM

Thanks everyone for your words and feeling of support. I'm doing a bit better my anxiety is somewhat better. I spoke to my employer he is actually a good friends and he said that come this Monday we will work out all the details and that he is sorry
Poetry
Jump to new posts Triggers in the storm by ForeverFighting @ 08/26/16 12:31 AM

I walk along the rocky path staring at the stones My little dog is running for a rabbit in the thorns A monster rises over the ridge behind me as a walk A storm of gloom and gray and black, growing in the dark I glance and feel it take me to a world
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Dreams How They Change by ForeverFighting @ 08/26/16 12:05 AM

Kevin, I’m so happy for you. I was just telling my wife the other day how I long for a time when I dream about puppies and rainbows. I have to be honest, though. I’ve noticed the same thing through the years. My dreams used to be about bein
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Its Taken Too Long by ForeverFighting @ 08/25/16 11:44 PM

WG, I’d though about writing a conversation like yours. Thank you for showing us such a nice way of taking care of that inner world. Thanks for starting this topic, Zoo. Michael
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Its Taken Too Long by WG @ 08/25/16 11:34 PM

I wrote this earlier this year. My T and I had been going through "Victims No More" by Mike Lew and we were at the part that discusses being in touch with your lost boy - Younger You. Are you me? Yes, I am. I sometimes wondered what I wo
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: my intro to healing by WG @ 08/25/16 11:15 PM

To which I would add : we can learn to have fun. I never learned much in that direction because as we all in here know - childhood wasn't fun and games. A birthday party here, maybe a school field trip somewhere - but those were about it for me - and
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Its Taken Too Long by sorryson @ 08/25/16 06:01 PM

Zookeeper your letter was heartfelt for me. You have accepted yourself and the boy who was hurt. You are protecting him now. I hope it hope it helps you to feel as one. Thank you for sharing it with us. Paul
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Dreams How They Change by sorryson @ 08/25/16 05:56 PM

Kevin I am happy to hear. Sleep is so important and it sounds like your doctor thinks you have done a lot of processing. Glad for you. Paul
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: T says that I don't recognize myself as a victim by Nothing Man @ 08/25/16 02:21 PM

Hi Logan. It is indeed a difficult question and I am glad you are talking about it. The more we talk and process this information the less frightening it becomes. Please remember that nobody is allowing you to speak your mind here on these boards
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Dreams How They Change by Nothing Man @ 08/25/16 02:15 PM

Hi Kevin It is great news that you are no longer afraid to sleep and that your rest has been populated with happy dreams. That is a really good sign for you. I think your therapist is right that it means you are starting to process some of the abu
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Dreams How They Change by KMCINVA @ 08/25/16 10:48 AM

Lately I have been dreaming and find myself waking up laughing. My friend was here recently and she said it was nice to hear me laughing in my sleep instead of trembling and screaming with fear. I now remember some of these pleasant dreams, silly t
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: my intro to healing by Older1 @ 08/25/16 10:34 AM

Hi Mike; Welcome back to M-S. You appear to be building a good base for your life ahead. You found this site perhaps by accident, perhaps by searching for answers concerning childhood sexual issues. It dos not matter why or how you found this site,
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: T says that I don't recognize myself as a victim by unhappycamper @ 08/25/16 10:24 AM

Logan (& other guys): I don't have a problem with saying I was a "victim." All that means is that I was on the receiving end of a couple of crimes against the person. IMHO (and IMHX), "victim" is just a(n) historical fact, no
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts potentially useful metaphor by DannyT @ 08/25/16 09:54 AM

Hi Guys, I've been reading a book by Thich Nhat Hanh on understanding our mind. The first verse says, "mind is a field in which every kind of seed is sown. This mind-field can also be called "all the seeds." The commentary says: &q
Male Survivors
Logan - Yes, its a difficult topic. I do see myself as having been a victim - because as it was explained above, the individual has had something done to them that was a violation of some sort and they had no control over the situation. My T also has
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