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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sixteen and Seventeen and Cruising by wreckage @ 05/17/17 11:41 AM

The molest at 12-13 was just recently (last year) realized, I guess is the word. Buried and now the wound is open and the pieces of the puzzle as to why there has always been acting out since it happened. I can't remember who I was before it. I have
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sixteen and Seventeen and Cruising by physicsfriend @ 05/17/17 11:21 AM

No, he has not volunteered for abuse. Non-abusive men and women do not engage in sexual activity with minors even if those minors consent. We recognize that "consent" with a minor is not a meaningful form of consent, as there is a huge po
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I'm exploring an idea and welcome input by greenwizard @ 05/17/17 11:15 AM

I think this is a wonderful idea! I'm sure there is a need. I mean, I can see the need from some posts on here, and there are no doubt thousands of more men out there in similar situations. I support women's shelters, but really, I think there nee
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: When the Abuse Source Destroys Much More by HouseElf @ 05/17/17 11:15 AM

Hey, greenwizard. Thanks for the reply and for sharing. It really is such a maddening experience to be dismissed, diminished, and generally exempted from other's attention. For me it's helped to create this feedback loop where people's attitudes only
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I'm exploring an idea and welcome input by physicsfriend @ 05/17/17 11:09 AM

Good thoughts, Ceremony, especially since you have some expertise here. I'm wondering if it wouldn't be pretty useful to partner up with a local women's shelter as well? That way, anyone could come to either shelter in crisis, and you could work ou
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Hello by Bluedogone @ 05/17/17 11:05 AM

Hey wreckage - WELCOME When I first came here that was the first time I dared mention, particularly in writing, that I had a secret I'd been carrying ALONE for many years. You've made an important decision to seek information and answers for yourse
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sixteen and Seventeen and Cruising by Ceremony @ 05/17/17 11:05 AM

My post has Triggers In my opinion it's still statutory molestation or rape on the part of the adult participating with a minor. That the minor went looking for a partner has many influences and being molested earlier are the biggest factor that I w
Sexual Identity Issues
Jump to new posts Re: Anyone else aroused by violence? *triggers* by physicsfriend @ 05/17/17 11:01 AM

Ceremony: I think I understand what you are saying. And yeah, it's fine with me to talk about this. I honestly have an intense, visceral hatred of Christianity that I know isn't necessarily fair to the kinder practitioners of the religion. I kno
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I'm exploring an idea and welcome input by motmcd @ 05/17/17 10:58 AM

All great points/questions, Ceremony and physicsfriend. Thanks.
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Hello by wreckage @ 05/17/17 10:56 AM

Thank you. I posted in the general forum ("16 17...). Yes, you are correct with the display name- I am in that state. Can you respond to my burning question in the general forum? I know this is a place for introductions and such. Thanks for rea
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Hello by Ceremony @ 05/17/17 10:49 AM

That's a great first step wreckage. Does the name you're using reflect what I think it might? Seems self evident, but would rather not assume. This is a wide open space of sharing the effects and changes that sexual abuse did to men. a lot of it fro
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Sixteen and Seventeen and Cruising by wreckage @ 05/17/17 10:49 AM

My question is: If a sixteen or seventeen year old male is looking for older males, does that mean that he volunteered for abuse? Is it abuse? Am I a victim? Not sure. I was definitely molested at 12 and 15 but the whole consent thing has lead me to
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Hello by wreckage @ 05/17/17 10:42 AM

Thank you.
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Hello by HBUL @ 05/17/17 10:39 AM

hi wreckage i joined a few weeks back and this has been my first time in a forum like this too. I would just recommend to take things at your own pace and if there is anything I can do to help please let me know.
Introductions
Jump to new posts Hello by wreckage @ 05/17/17 10:37 AM

Hello. This is my first time in a forum of any sort. Hoping for some good information to answer some difficult questions I may have. Thank you for welcoming me.
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: What was your tipping point to disclose? by HealingHope @ 05/17/17 10:37 AM

I know, it's about trust in the end isn't it? That's what's so hard, how to convince them that we won't hurt them. We want to be their place, their safe loving place. But the problem I'm realising is so much is charged from the unconscious that we
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: What was your tipping point to disclose? by md4e @ 05/17/17 10:29 AM

No....we are the topic :-) I'm hoping he's safe also! The pain abuse leaves in its wake.....wow If only they could see that together shared it is lessened If only.......
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I'm exploring an idea and welcome input by Ceremony @ 05/17/17 10:27 AM

I have some ideas about shelters. I went through a halfway house from late 16 until I was emancipated age 17. Plus, my wife was involved in Women's Shelter work decades ago. It's where she got her leg up to the work she's been doing for 30+ years.
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: What was your tipping point to disclose? by HealingHope @ 05/17/17 10:11 AM

It's a very special place, for sure & your counsellor's right no amount of understanding in theory takes the pain away. They hurt, we hurt. I find I fret for him even though he's gone. I can't help it, the connection won't go away. I'm just tryin
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I'm exploring an idea and welcome input by physicsfriend @ 05/17/17 10:02 AM

I think there is certainly a need for something akin to this. A few questions: - Would these services also be available to victims of adult sexual abuse or current domestic abuse (sexual or not)? - I imagine for survivors of CSA, many of them migh
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: What was your tipping point to disclose? by md4e @ 05/17/17 09:59 AM

Thanks HH, I've had that book for awhile, in fact I was looking at it just yesterday....shared it with him. He reads some, comments. Then the. ......crumbling. I have worked so hard at understanding this, read tons of books, countless sessions etc.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I'm exploring an idea and welcome input by motmcd @ 05/17/17 09:56 AM

Thanks for your reply, Ceremony. I'm one of your biggest fans and admire you for your determination to plod forward and heal. Tom
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Surviving a downer by motmcd @ 05/17/17 09:53 AM

I know this sounds unbelievable, FR, but for me it's cycling. When I'm in a funk, I spin some of my most intense workouts on the road or mtn. bike. I burn off enough of that negative energy to regain perspective. I learned years ago to stay away f
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: I'm exploring an idea and welcome input by Ceremony @ 05/17/17 09:49 AM

Originally Posted By motmcdI got the idea two weeks ago to start a program providing short-term housing, career, and counseling support for men dealing with CSA and need a place to go. There are men that cannot get out of their current situations du
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts I'm exploring an idea and welcome input by motmcd @ 05/17/17 09:43 AM

I got the idea two weeks ago to start a program providing short-term housing, career, and counseling support for men dealing with CSA and need a place to go. There are men that cannot get out of their current situations due primarily to financial co
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