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Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Denying the Survivor by traveler @ 04/17/17 09:17 PM

Kevin - i appreciate the article very much. some of it, i had sort of figured out on my own, but it is encouraging and affirming to hear it from an expert. there is so much in it that i can identify with from my own experiences. in my family, it wa
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: My attacker's perspective ***triggers***? by Chase Eric @ 04/17/17 07:58 PM

Hi, Bri - Our conversations were in person. I have had several discussions with him. He is in a psychiatric step-down unit now and almost ready for release. As far as protecting the girls and absorbing the "hell" in the neighborhood -
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Denying the Survivor by Bluedogone @ 04/17/17 07:39 PM

Hey FR, Thanks for posting this. I'm sorry you had to live through such a horrible experience, but it's enlightening that you recognize yet another unwholesome result of denial. It's so sad, and so true the things that denial can create. No matter
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bey by Bluedogone @ 04/17/17 07:24 PM

Thanks Shyshark for that fitting tribute. Originally Posted By ShysharkBen ... your gift to me is that whenever I think of you ... I will smile. I couldn't agree more. He had so much humor, in spite. It's difficult to think of him and not smile.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bey by Shyshark @ 04/17/17 07:01 PM

It has been one month since we lost Ben. I will miss our chats ... There was a lot of teasing and irreverent humour ... arguing over who had the worst health problems. Sadly ... over the last year ... he always won. We related well because we were
Male Survivors
Eirik, I am astounded by your bravery and compassion. Can I ask how you talked to him, was it in person or on the phone? What did that feel like? Quote:At the time, I truly felt like the throw-away sacrifice to keep the girls safe. It seems rather
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: does this mean...? by SayItRight @ 04/17/17 01:59 PM

Lee, My own reactions and opinions on this: -What you are calling "fear of making things worse" could be "knowledge that it would have gotten worse." In my own upbringing, as taboo as all emotions were, allowing myself anger was t
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Denying the Survivor by KMCINVA @ 04/17/17 01:56 PM

Free Radical I am sorry what you went through with your father. I agree with you point, your father's denial of his abuse has translated into his denial of your abuse. A family member of the former spread vicious and malicious stories of my abuse--b
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Denying the Survivor by Free Radical @ 04/17/17 01:05 PM

When my dad heard about my abuse, he yelled at me, too. He always hated me so this was nothing new...but it hurt like hell... But one thing he said during his 1/2 hour tirade was "nothing like this ever happened to me, except once in high school
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: i love you by Sterling @ 04/17/17 11:56 AM

then I feel sorry for him. what . couldnt trust my mom. had to listen to my shit grandparents. fucked up country. asshole! help the kids. how the fuck can you live w/ this ? that is not being a parent. i had to make others feel uncomfortable w/your
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: i love you by Sterling @ 04/17/17 11:46 AM

i want to have sex. w/ y. but. perfect. live. sadfkl;j got tocdh dt . lolnhelyh i get afraid i go to certain songs. i guess i just wanted to feel. it takes me. i never wanted to go there anger. think. how do you live w/ this? i dont want to g
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: Darknrss by tommyb @ 04/17/17 11:45 AM

'Just read your story from beginning to end, nltsaved.... 'Always good having your presence around. Sorry I had to edit this post. I guess it's all written word, you know. So I can't just candidly ... The internet is very dangerous in reality .
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Denying the Survivor by batman72 @ 04/17/17 10:57 AM

Thank you so much for sharing that! As I try to think of the people in my life who have dismissed me because of my abuse, I try to put one of those labels on them. When I told my mother, she screamed at me that I deserved it. I ruined her reputatio
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: does this mean...? by WG @ 04/17/17 10:08 AM

This is such a difficult, confusing, at times volatile topic. I didn't feel anger - or much of anything really - for many, many years. Repressed. It came out other ways, sometimes surprising myself at just how angry I would act or sound at a given ti
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Denying the Survivor by KMCINVA @ 04/17/17 09:41 AM

I read this and saw much of my life-many of those who denied my abuse as an adult or anyone else's abuse may want to read. http://themamabeareffect.org/blog/denying-the-survivor Denying The Survivor 2/4/2015 Why victims are often not believed
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: does this mean...? by Free Radical @ 04/17/17 09:20 AM

I don't have any answers for you... Only this: there is something wrong with a T or anyone else telling you how you should feel. You feel what you feel. With abuse our emotions can becom very convoluted...and we really don't have answers for everyth
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: does this mean...? by greenwizard @ 04/17/17 09:05 AM

The theory is that anger is like a cancer, it will eat away at you until you are a hollowed out shell. Like Kevin said, forgiveness brings peace. Forgiving your abusers is not for their benefit, but for your own. If I remember right, you said yo
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: does this mean...? by KMCINVA @ 04/17/17 08:04 AM

Lee When I read your post it brought back to me something I was given to read The Nature of Forgiveness Mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us, is the course of action
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: Running out of words by KMCINVA @ 04/17/17 07:54 AM

Tryingtolive I am sorry for your pain. Your words are insightful. One line hit me "trying to forget the past" is our struggle. I am learning we cannot forget the past but rather learn to live with the past--for it is a part of us that can
Poetry
Jump to new posts depresssion by newground @ 04/17/17 04:29 AM

I don’t know what to say today Much like many other days, the words I fear seem frozen in the pen I don’t believe the words congest the thoughts are not that large It’s simply that I hurt…again and wonder how to move this barge Through such a
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