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Forum   Subject
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Victim mindset by Tryingtolive @ 41 minutes 23 seconds ago

Does it go away? I can't tell myself I'm a survivor. In my head and how I think Iam a victim and live like one.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: shifting focus by SmartShadow @ 56 minutes 50 seconds ago

Thanks for this Danny, I have been thinking about this and think there is a lot of truth to what you are talking about. I wish my T had a bit more of this approach. I think it is true that we get more of what we focus on. Focus on the negative, in an
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Staying Open by PhoenixRising @ Today at 01:20 PM

Totally understand. Touch was acid to me, yet we all need it, or something close. Someone to hold us when we were scared. I have missed many healthy touches in fear of the bad ones.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Addiction by PhoenixRising @ Today at 01:06 PM

I didn't realize I had an addiction. It was clever. I started my discovery process a little over 20 years ago, finally acknowledging that I had been abused. I could articulate it but not feel it. I did a tailspin for a few years, many doors opened i
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: shifting focus by iaccus @ Today at 12:07 PM

Wise words
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Hey guys (possible trigger warning) by manipulated @ Today at 11:29 AM

Welcome. Wow great post! Great list. Please know you are not alone you will grow to accomplish everything there and then some but as others said it is not a race, a good trauma therapist is key, this is a helpful site just to know you are not alone
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: I joined today and want to say HI to you by manipulated @ Today at 11:20 AM

Welcome. This place has helped me not only realize I am not alone but I am a victim and the secrecy, guilt and shame I carried for 40+ years belong to the perp not to me. Still internalizing all that but the support here is amazingly helpful as I p
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: shifting focus by PhoenixRising @ Today at 09:47 AM

Wow. Amazing and well thought out approach. Deal with the present and what you want to accomplish in it. The resistance that will show up will come from old patterns but you can see them as you move ahead..yes, anxiety, fear, etc..rather than some am
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Staying Open by BDD @ Today at 09:41 AM

Sorry, I only come here when I'm bummed and I need to dump. I'm really sad this morning, but deciding not to hide or go backwards. I look forward to working with my trainer. He's the first man to ever touch me and I can feel how warm and good it is.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: How do you guys manage breakdowns? by bluesky @ Today at 09:06 AM

Hi everyone. Thanks for posting this its a great question. For me the breakdowns started when I started my recovery. When I started facing my past the abuse and all that lead to it. Until then I managed with mild depression and a porn compulsion. Bu
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Hey guys (possible trigger warning) by traveler @ Today at 08:26 AM

Nathan - welcome and well done for articulating your circumstances and your goals. those "hopes for the future" are very worthy ones and they are attainable. looking at your list, I realized that they express what I wanted when I joined M
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: I joined today and want to say HI to you by traveler @ Today at 08:20 AM

Welcome, dWite! I hope your participation here will be as beneficial to you as mine has been to me. It is very reassuring to know that I am not alone, that others understand and that many have experienced what I have in the past and are now going th
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts shifting focus by DannyT @ Today at 07:51 AM

I wonder how much help we get in therapy if we focus on the abuse. My current feeling is that it is better to spend time in therapy thinking about the kind of fulfilling days we want to have now and in the future, and then to focus step by step on t
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: How do you guys manage breakdowns? by DannyT @ Today at 07:19 AM

I'm with TinCAn. Embrace them. I find a safe place and try to ride them like a wave when surfing or ski mountain or a skate park. Physically they are literally waves of chemistry flooding our systems, so it's a good analogy to me. Basically they're
Introductions
Jump to new posts I joined today and want to say HI to you by dWite @ Today at 01:43 AM

I survived years of abuse. My therapist encourages me to join a support forum, so here I am, still shy....
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Hey guys (possible trigger warning) by devon46 @ Yesterday at 11:06 PM

you did real good for a first post!!!!!! mine was about one sentence ,lol i just joined here to ,feels like the first day at a new school or something.
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Hey guys (possible trigger warning) by WG @ Yesterday at 10:54 PM

Nathen - You are a brave man - because you were a brave boy. We all in here understand what its like to be you - because it was us at one time or another. Welcome - and as we say, I'm glad and at the same time sad that you have found this place. We'l
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Al-anon/ACA Adult Children of Alcoholics advice by Elad1 @ Yesterday at 09:07 PM

Jevin and Sterling Thank you both for your encouragement and for your very enlightening insights to this program. In the last year I have been grieving my lost childhood and it just happens that every ACoA meeting I have attended (so far 4 of them)
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Verbal Assault Today by Buddy75 @ Yesterday at 08:43 PM

Something similar happens to me I walk off leash 3 medium white dogs around 4am and I have a neighbor that waits for me in his truck and yell at me to pick up my dogs crap, and to keep them on leash- there is nobody walking about at 4am so I let my
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: How do you guys manage breakdowns? by TinCAn @ Yesterday at 08:24 PM

I found it best to embrace the breakdowns. Let them come in their furry. It can be extremely difficult, but I found it is part of the healing process. It seems each breakdown resulted in a step forward, an improvement and a release. I know timing is
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Hey guys (possible trigger warning) by betrayed boy @ Yesterday at 08:21 PM

hi nathen, im sorry things happened to you that still affect you today i think you will find thats fairly common here most of us are the same way, take your time dealing with this its not a race it will take time and hard work to learn to deal with i
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Verbal Assault Today by DannyT @ Yesterday at 07:40 PM

Congratulations on a good day. Every day that we can practice the right way of life is a good day, to me. And it feels like if we watch for the progress and just keep on truckin, it's sure to come. I'm really happy for you. Danny
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts benefits of taking time away from words by DannyT @ Yesterday at 07:34 PM

Hey guys, I sometimes struggle with a voice in my head that just won't shut up. Many threads in the last few weeks have talked about voices in different ways, too. I've been finding it helpful to make some parts of the day voice free for a while. E
Introductions
Jump to new posts Hey guys (possible trigger warning) by Nathan James @ Yesterday at 07:30 PM

Hey guys, Got to admit that I don't really know what to do or say here but here goes... (Long post sorry) I was sexually abused weekly for years by my Nan's husband. I used to sleep around my Nan's every Friday which I used to enjoy. But when I
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Self abuse by Elad1 @ Yesterday at 07:16 PM

Phoenix Rising, I am really glad you are talking to a therapist. What I am understanding from the conversation in this thread is the capacity to love someone. After months of work with my therapist addressing my csa just a couple of weeks ago he sai
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