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Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: is love enough? by HealingHope @ 19 minutes 4 seconds ago

@kmcinva thank you for sharing this, I feel it captures my perception of where my survivor finds himself too. For me my love for him will always be enough and I know it's the thing he used to struggle to understand, he'd say I shouldn't love him beca
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Reflection and Hopefully A Healing One by focusedbody @ Yesterday at 11:34 PM

Kevin: One theme of your conversation with the firefighter is perfection. So much of the time, we are up against perceptions of perfection while silence is endured. For me there is a feeling of humiliation at not living up to images that are more
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Therapy material by zookeeper @ Yesterday at 10:35 PM

Well now doesnt that sound familiar? Sounds like I have another book to buy. Great topic. Zoo
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sharing by mikewww @ Yesterday at 05:28 PM

Thank you for the reply all very helpful..I do find myself reliving my abuse even after being out of the abuse for awhile now. It is strange but I find comfort in reliving it. I think the reason for that is I am choosing to do it verses being made to
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: I am a male survivor by manipulated @ Yesterday at 05:27 PM

Welcome Pjc2124! So sorry for what brings you here, but you are among men who understand and it is safe here. Please take Kevin's advice about a therapist. This is heavy stuff and like you and Kevin I thought I had it handled and ignored the effects
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: I am a male survivor by woodenshoes @ Yesterday at 05:13 PM

Pjc2124 I am sorry for the need to be here. Abuse comes out in many ways. Ask the questions. It can be a struggle at times. Kevin said it well. Ws
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: I am a male survivor by Pjc2124 @ Yesterday at 04:40 PM

Thanks Kevin I genuinely don't remember the number of times, strange - for something so massive, but at the time, I knew no different. My mum would send me up to wake my Dad after a nap, I would shake him to wake him up, and then one day he just
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: I am a male survivor by KMCINVA @ Yesterday at 04:33 PM

Pjc2124 I am sorry for what you lived with your father. Any form of sexual abuse, even one time, can leave a permanent mark on our minds. Addictions are a common consequence of abuse. It is possible your gambling stems from the abuse as a child. It
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: * by lapchinj @ Yesterday at 04:17 PM

Hey Izzy I was trying to think of how to answer you. I was in the skin game since i was at least 9. I don't remember my life before that. That said I was taken into the porn movie business in '65. It was a year and a half of torture. I dreaded going
Introductions
Jump to new posts I am a male survivor by Pjc2124 @ Yesterday at 03:58 PM

Hello I am 42 year old married male. I have an addiction to gambling which I am trying to deal with. As a child I was molested by my father. It is buried deep in my memories, but it is there. There was nothing painful about the experience, but
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Trigger warning, from overwrought emotions! by Ceremony @ Yesterday at 03:23 PM

Depressed, but I don't wish for medication. https://youtu.be/zZVS5w1sDXw That song is "Crystal" by New Order So, I cried, thought I could/would call the crisis line to hear a voice other than my wife's. I mean in the context of talking a
Books, Music & Films for Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: some song lyrics (maybe triggering) by Ceremony @ Yesterday at 02:59 PM

The song obviously had religious context and implies rhe Holy Spirit/God/Jesus. I intend that to be gently espoused, in an offhand way. I couldn't listen, but I did read. That noted, the experience of the song, those boys and what should be innocen
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts I think I've finally found emotional stability by Magellan @ Yesterday at 02:31 PM

It's been growing for the last month or so. The seeds for this were planted 3 years ago. I'll keep an eye on my moods, but I appear to have stabilized. I'm generally depressed most of the time (I'm lonely, and unable to make authentic emotional co
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Problem with emotions by zookeeper @ Yesterday at 01:54 PM

Thanks Unhappy Camper (I always liked Jefferson Airplane). The PTSD has kicked my behind recently and Im sure that this is part of the whole mess. I guess I may be "chasing rabbits". Thanks John Zookeeper-Brian
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Is it ok if I don't identify as a Survivor by KMCINVA @ Yesterday at 12:26 PM

I think whatever you identify as is alright. Survivor per Webster's has one definition that I think is most appropriate here: "a person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks." Some people would
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Is it ok if I don't identify as a Survivor by tbkkfile @ Yesterday at 11:32 AM

Like you Luke I'm just me. I'm just a guy who's hit the bottom of a long journey, and at the moment can't really see an end. It seems that life conspires to enforce my thoughts about myself and how my perps made me feel. Sorry guys but I'm feeling
Poetry
Jump to new posts Special by Ceremony @ Yesterday at 11:28 AM

To be that person, To be there, with them... To be special!
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: is love enough? by WontGiveUp @ Yesterday at 11:02 AM

KMCINVA, yeah - I think you are right about survivors, but I really think that applies to everyone, not JUST survivors. I know a ton of people who just do not allow them selves to feel love, or they are just too self centered to "act in love&qu
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: is love enough? by KMCINVA @ Yesterday at 10:37 AM

I think love is a foundation but by itself can a building be built on top? I wish I had the answer. I know when love is not expressed, for it can for some be buried in the heart, it is destructive and harms the souls. Sometimes survivors cannot fin
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Problem with emotions by unhappycamper @ Yesterday at 10:00 AM

I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV (or the Interwebs), but I've talked to a lot of shrinks and psychologists over the past 22 years. They all seem to regard "blunted affect" (dulled emotions and other reactions) as a typical PTSD s
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Problem with emotions by KMCINVA @ Yesterday at 09:52 AM

Brian From what many have told me once we begin not to find pleasure in activities and thoughts the hormones that produce pleasure begin to shutdown. The memories have to be released but sometimes they are so overwhelming and we "numb", we
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: is love enough? by dark empathy @ Yesterday at 09:27 AM

Ironically, I've tried to reply to this topic three or four times, and each time been interupted for one thing or another. @Ceremony, Why is accepting help humiliating? Sorry after my wife's own emotional abuse by her first husband and the sociopat
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Problem with emotions by zookeeper @ Yesterday at 09:11 AM

Bluesky Thank you. This is more than I of a task than I ever thought recovery would be. When I experienced a large cache of recovered memory, I thought it would lessen the pain and bring me close to recovery. Instead I am in this limbo. Not worse, b
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Problem with emotions by dark empathy @ Yesterday at 09:06 AM

I recall something very similar to what Kevin and blueski describe here. In the cycles I'd sometimes be so low it was unbelievable, sometimes really riding the lightning, then at other times just feeling everything was flat, almost a catatonic haze
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Problem with emotions by KMCINVA @ Yesterday at 07:48 AM

Brian It is a blah feeling, no emotional responses. I have been there. It can reverse in either direction--upward or positive feelings to negative emotions. I have people call it a transition state--it can be from PTSD to the effects of medication.
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