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Forum   Subject
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sometimes I feel... by SmartShadow @ 18 minutes 56 seconds ago

Hey Tom E, It sounds like you have a really good guy for a partner. How cool is that. I hope your coming to terms and healing gose well. It seems like you are taking care of yourself and are moving forward. I don't think it gets any better then t
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sometimes I feel... by Tom E. @ 34 minutes 2 seconds ago

SmartShadow Thanks for your comments. I don't even want actual sex with my partner much anymore... just cuddling is more important and satisfying to me now. He doesn't seem to mind. --- Tom E
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Dissociation and Depression by KMCINVA @ Today at 08:56 PM

FB When this article was sent to me, I realized the truth of my life--dissociation and depression. In both the unpleasantness of the past and present are pushing us to a state to escape. Dissociation for me was partial or total escape and depression
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Need to vent by greenwizard @ Today at 08:14 PM

It just isn't fair. I did what I was supposed to right? Then why did I lose a friend? According to him I made it harder for him and any other man in the area to score at a bar. I got drunk and had regrets and wanted attention. So now, women are
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: ***TRIGGERS*** The worse thing I've ever done by traveler @ Today at 08:07 PM

oh, bri! (((((((bri))))))) though i can't say i totally understand what you were thinking in how you might atone for or be punished for your imagined wrong-doing in this episode from your past, I can identify with and understand the pain and remors
Male Survivors
I started to write this because I needed to. I want to post it on my blog, but I'm a bit raw. I don't know if I should share it here because of what I did when I was 14: I turned around and became a predator. I never touched anyone, no one even knew
Family and Friends
I am in a similar situation, and for me it is part being codependent and the extreme fear of abandonment. These two for me tie closely to csa and dysfunctional family of origin. What is important is that I gain control of what I can do and to remain
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: T) by tommyb @ Today at 05:02 PM

__________
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: T) by tommyb @ Today at 05:02 PM

__________ (Sunday, 26MAR2017) 'Learned you got to get angry at it, for the energy, then serious, for the problem solving. The pots and pans station must be done from a full athletic position, without or with a tender ankle. 'Like going Maintenan
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: How much should CSA effects dictate actions? by HealingHope @ Today at 04:10 PM

I hear you ((( wgu))) Doing nothing ... for now even a day or two can sometimes be as revealing as acting on something. Perhaps sit with your feelings some more? My sense is something is making you stick to the same path. Cause and effect, if you m
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Bey by Older1 @ Today at 02:55 PM

Ouch !!! I had hoped to chat more with him; he is missed. It hurts. Despite his suffering, he gave and taught us lots !!!
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Rambling may have triggers by bluesky @ Today at 02:38 PM

Tyler know that you did nothing wrong you are not at fault or stupid. You are In the midst of the abuse. Going away for a while doesn't change the way a victims mind works. I'm 47 and and for years I alowed a person to grope me in my congragation and
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: How much should CSA effects dictate actions? by WontGiveUp @ Today at 02:24 PM

Nope - I think you have nailed it HH. Our counselor warned that if he didnt work on some of this, with the dissacociating issues that it was a possibility that he could end up fragmented. maybe that is the case that he isnt able to connect the two
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: How much should CSA effects dictate actions? by HealingHope @ Today at 12:26 PM

This is so painful I'm so sorry, wgu. Does he acknowledge that he's changing his stance? From what you describe he seems very detached from each reality. What I mean is is he present? It sounds like he's dissociating in both options. A bit like spli
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: My Partner (spouse) by WontGiveUp @ Today at 12:24 PM

Luke - you and your amazing lady are such an inspiration to me. I always envision you two as a charming prince and princess. I know its silly right? :-D But seriously - watching you overcome what you have, and finding her, and watching your journe
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: Can love be healed?*Triggers* by WontGiveUp @ Today at 11:59 AM

I would love to know more about this too - thank you for asking this question! It would be so helpful to know also what we as partners can do to help in this process (or NOT do :-) )....
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: How much should CSA effects dictate actions? by WontGiveUp @ Today at 11:47 AM

Md4e, yep - I agree with you there, focus on the present is very very important. Its where we live, and the future is where we are going. We cannot live in the past, and though we should learn from it and heal from it - I dont think we should let i
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: How much should CSA effects dictate actions? by WontGiveUp @ Today at 11:39 AM

Something that someone said at another forum I am at that is Marriage focused - I think this is powerful and very impactful, and it really does seem to reflect the attitudes of the incredible men here: "As they say here feelings follow action.
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: How much should CSA effects dictate actions? by WontGiveUp @ Today at 11:30 AM

Green Wizzard - funny enough - its not the things around the house so much (though he really struggles and has a hard time seeing "mess" and being proactive to deal with said "mess"), its the very simple, very basic fact that he s
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: How much should CSA effects dictate actions? by WontGiveUp @ Today at 11:18 AM

Ceremony - your insight is amazingly helpful. Its good to see that perspective, and I can see how my H has done similar things and it helps me to see a little bit why. THANKYOU! HH - I read that thread from Bowie too, and I know that no one can ma
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Re: How much should CSA effects dictate actions? by HealingHope @ Today at 11:05 AM

Just wanted to say thank you to @md4e for this ... "I agree that focusing on the present is very important, for my guy that proves very difficult because he uses dissociation as a coping mechanism. Which is totally connected to the abuse......If
Family and Friends
WontGiveUp, Here are some of my thoughts on all this.... I agree that focusing on the present is very important, for my guy that proves very difficult because he uses dissociation as a coping mechanism. Which is totally connected to the abuse. He is
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Mindfulness and Dissociation by KMCINVA @ Today at 08:25 AM

Mindfulness came in handy last night. Tough night and no sleep. I was at a friends house for dinner. Home early around 11. Thought I would try to sleep. I fell into a deep sleep until around 1 and I woke up with chills and feeling him. It put me into
Poetry
Jump to new posts Re: The heavy gravitational pull of feeling by BDD @ Today at 06:45 AM

Beautiful.
Family and Friends
Jump to new posts Can love be healed?*Triggers* by HealingHope @ Today at 06:33 AM

if it's ok? I appreciate the subject of love is so triggering, but those who feel able, I was wondering if you have started your healing, has your perspective of love shifted? Has your healing helped to trust love again? If so how did you feel this
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