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Jump to new posts Re: Pure 1980s Cheese (cheddar?) by Chris4TheMill @ 16 minutes 28 seconds ago

Wow. I consider myself a connoisseur of 80's music, and I have to say I have never even heard of this band before. They sound like a cross between Men Without Hats ("Safety Dance") and British new wave/synth pop band M ("Pop Music&q
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: If your perp was a teen.... by Ceremony @ 44 minutes 20 seconds ago

I've recalled this kind of thinking around MS ShyShark, and know it's hard to consider why it happened. Then, what to do later. Your context presents a strong case to forgive the cousins. It's sad in many ways, it leaves a "what if", where
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: If your perp was a teen.... by Ceremony @ Yesterday at 11:58 PM

(((Shyshark))) a powerful share. First, I'm going to offer to sit by you, stay and care that this is confusing, and painful. I'm thinking.
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: If your perp was a teen.... by Shyshark @ Yesterday at 11:45 PM

This is an intensely personal dilemma for me. My abuse started at 3 with a boy in his late teens/perhaps 20. I only know that because of time and place. Time and place was crucial in sorting out who and when and where ... and to a still fragile beli
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: How I understand it by FallGuy2154 @ Yesterday at 10:43 PM

Well, I may be fortunate that my abuse occurred only twice and it was not a family member. It was a neighbor boy who was 3 years older than I was. Right now I am pretty angry, at him and what he took from me which was my innocence as a child. I ha
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: How I understand it by Ceremony @ Yesterday at 10:22 PM

Yes, that's part of all the process. Knowing there's different things that happen to us, finding the processes for our journey can take some time to sort out. I had a lot to learn, I had ignored this for 39 years, and suddenly it woke in me. What I
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: How I understand it by KMCINVA @ Yesterday at 10:13 PM

I found the denial process to be a long and difficult process to live through. I knew of the abuse but there were many aspects of denial--why did it happen, why did I go back and the emotions of guilt and shame I harbored. I needed to accept the tru
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Trans/Gender issues by SmartShadow @ Yesterday at 09:04 PM

Yeah that's what it's like. It is difficult to understand and make sense of but it already sounds like you are aware of having different parts or states of being. Basically the different states have there own thoughts and feelings and even diffe
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts How I understand it by FallGuy2154 @ Yesterday at 08:27 PM

Based on what I have read. Now that we are out of our denial, we go through a grieving process for what was lost. Is this accurate to your experience?
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: If your perp was a teen.... by woodenshoes @ Yesterday at 07:33 PM

(((((((((((Nothing Man)))))))))) You are not alone in the way you feel. Ws
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: If your perp was a teen.... by Nothing Man @ Yesterday at 04:01 PM

One of my perps was 14 or 15 when I was eight. It makes me wonder what caused someone so young to offend the way he did. Had he been abused also? I cannot say, but it seems to me that what he did was learned behavior. On the other hand, my perp -
Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Trans/Gender issues by SDD757 @ Yesterday at 12:32 PM

For me it's like different personality states rather than totally separate people. I thought there was just two, the normal me and the 'trucker' me. Perhaps there are more. I'm not sure how to begin to figure that out. My wife says she can tell becau
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Anyone Being Triggered With All The Media News by Ceremony @ Yesterday at 12:19 PM

Indeed Bluedogone, I second those who are asking "why now" have crossed the line into antagonizing the victim, and not addressing the real issue of the perpetrator. I commented back to three such posts somewhere yesterday, two responded, on
Sexual Identity Issues
Jump to new posts Re: gender identity confusion by SDD757 @ Yesterday at 12:13 PM

Quote:This one that you're describing, is one I've read a bit, from a transgender blog I follow every day, and other reading and news. I'm not transgender, and know I won't be, it's a clear sense that one is definitely the wrong gender. There are how
Sexual Identity Issues
Jump to new posts Re: gender identity confusion by SDD757 @ Yesterday at 12:10 PM

Shawn, Some other things to think about is our society seems to have a hyper-masculinity. If you enjoys softer feminine things does not mean that you are any less a male. This does not mean you are on a road to becoming transgender. Gender and se
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Anyone Being Triggered With All The Media News by Bluedogone @ Yesterday at 09:24 AM

A few years ago it would have blown me away, but in comparison with some of the horrible stories on this very site it seems no more than another news story. I can process them without triggering me. What does bother me a great deal is when the inte
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: If your perp was a teen.... by Bluedogone @ Yesterday at 09:03 AM

Definitely complex for me. Of the five, two were in their teens. One of those was a couple of years ahead of me in HS, and was, I think, more about bullying a freshman than the sex. I gave him a pass, it was easy to forgive him, mostly because I la
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Anyone Being Triggered With All The Media News by genedebs @ Yesterday at 04:02 AM

Dan99, Iaccus,Seachange. KCINVA, and everybody I have had the feeling well said by Dan, If these people are so upset about their experience where is my hope. Still comparing is just a way of discounting the feelings of others who need and have a r
U.S. & World News
Jump to new posts Re: Corey Feldman speaks up again by traveler @ Yesterday at 02:53 AM

Updates: no, 1 no. 2
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: If your perp was a teen.... by AlexBoyd @ Yesterday at 02:48 AM

Originally Posted By SuwaneeAlex, That question is deceptively complex.... For me, it is a complex situation. For those of you are who are not familiar with my background, I had three abusers: my older brother, his best friend who lived next door,

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