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Jump to new posts Re: i love you by Sterling @ 6 minutes 26 seconds ago

im not supposed to know who I s gay. I cant slwallow my saliva. when I eat that cun't s ffod it's over this is why I have a hard time with I eating they would watch me eat hating me. teastin me. and my mind couldn't do concenta I hate to
Off Topic
Jump to new posts Re: i love you by Sterling @ 8 minutes 3 seconds ago

I love and thank you! Determination isn't easy , especially when you listen actively ; thanks again BFree27. I feel bad about not reading other posts , I am dealing really hard with conversations in me. It's hard to do this all the time!! Thanks ag
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sleep issues :going to bed (self trigger?) by Winston @ 18 minutes 18 seconds ago

Again, thank you ForeverFighting. You fight for the other as well, it's reassuring knowing people of your kind exists. You are right concerning the word confess, it was a terrible choice of word. You don't confess a broken leg. When I wrote "
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sleep issues :going to bed (self trigger?) by ForeverFighting @ Today at 05:35 PM

Winston, to "confess" implies that you had any decision in being abused. It wasn’t your fault. Nobody chooses this life or what was done to us. You deserve our time and empathy. We all do. When I tell people that I have Complex PTSD,
Sexual Identity Issues
Jump to new posts Re: Finding marital sex gross by Winston @ Today at 05:27 PM

Thank you for this precise answer M, We had STD exam before leaving condom, but I had no specific exam yet. Since I was able to make love 3 month back, I did not though about it. But I guess you are right. Concerning therapy, it seems lot of people
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sleep issues :going to bed (self trigger?) by Winston @ Today at 04:48 PM

Thank you K. You are helping a total stranger, for no reason other than empathy. I respect that a lot. I just feel not to deserve any of your time or empathy. I am not the worst person, but I bring people that try to help me, or people that love m
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sleep issues :going to bed (self trigger?) by KMCINVA @ Today at 02:16 PM

Winston I too would not be in the real world. My dissociation increased where I disconnected from myself and reality. I would wander at times, begone a few days and I wonder if I slept during those days or not. Sadly in the dissoacitive fugue I had
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sleep issues :going to bed (self trigger?) by Winston @ Today at 01:53 PM

Hi Kevin, thank you for taking time to answer. I am aware of the importance of sleep, and that I am playing with fire. To be honest if I am really too tired and start feeling I am no longer in the real world, I do something stupid but effective : be
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sleep issues :going to bed (self trigger?) by Winston @ Today at 01:15 PM

Thank you very much for your answer. You clearly took the time not only to offer an answer, but the general construction suggest that you want to help. I know it's weird to talk about the way your answer is constructed, but you moved me (like strong
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: An Apology Is All One Survivor Wanted by ForeverFighting @ Today at 12:22 PM

I thought apologies were a myth. I can’t even imagine what an apology must sound like. I’d be happy with an acknowledgement that there was any abuse. Money? I couldn’t care less. In fact, I wouldn’t want his dirty money. Money comes and
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sleep issues :going to bed (self trigger?) by KMCINVA @ Today at 12:19 PM

Winston Sleep deprivation was very common for me. As the nightmares and flashbacks escalated, I did not sleep. For a year I dreaded closing my eyes, all I could see in my silence was the abuse. Triggers were around me. Once the abuse became known to
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Sleep issues :going to bed (self trigger?) by ForeverFighting @ Today at 11:58 AM

Winston, I went through that panic feeling trying to go to bed. For a while I would have to move to the couch to feel safe, which is obviously the past talking, because everything about sleeping in the bedroom with my wife is safe. I tried all kind
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Suggestions for surviving 5 days with mother? by ForeverFighting @ Today at 11:40 AM

Bluesky, thank you so much. The answer is obvious, isn’t it? That’s what my therapist said, too. Let my wife go and I stay home or I meet her up there for a day trip. It’s the right answer. Friends who know I have PTSD associated with this
Male Survivors
Same for me, nothing helps, I have no family except my wife... Just holding on trying to keep my job which gets harder with time. I think we need family or real life friends in our daily life that can understand and support us, I personally think t
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Accepting the Past by CafeMan @ Today at 10:52 AM

I feel there are two sides of me. The happy, strong Nick who takes no prisoners and is confident and full of life. Then ... there is the Sorrowful Nick who thinks about the past and is somber, introverted and very pensive. Today, I am the latter
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Presentation by KMCINVA @ Today at 10:11 AM

Winston Welcome and you have taken an important step. Take your time and when you are ready we are here. Kevin
Sexual Identity Issues
Jump to new posts Re: Finding marital sex gross by manipulated @ Today at 10:10 AM

Winston, You are not alone in having the past spill into the present. Are you working with a T? Have you had a medical exam to make sure nothing is going haywire physically? Both need to be explored certainly thoroughly before you certainly conside
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Presentation by WG @ Today at 08:57 AM

Guten Tag - Ich bin Winston, auch......just thought I'd throw in my own bit of language - German was one of my first languages. My grandparents spoke it at home - my Dad's parents. Usually only at home, however. They lived here in America during Worl
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Presentation by une.vie.d.espoir @ Today at 08:44 AM

Bonjour Winston, Je suis désoler que tu sois parmis nous. Je crois par contre que tu vas pouvoirs avoir le support et l'aide que tu as besoin ârmis nous. J'ai crus comprendre que ta langue maternel est le français pas vrais ? Moi c'est Jean-Pie
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Enough is enough by bluesky @ Today at 08:39 AM

Troy it's very brave of you to share your struggle here. I don't have advice other than to say that you are on the right track your desire to break the cycle is a big step in changing your behavior and actions. For me I needed to get in to therapy a
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Re: Suggestions for surviving 5 days with mother? by bluesky @ Today at 08:23 AM

(((((Mitchell))))) To me it sounds like way over my head. I can't eve go back to my old neighborhood where I was abused as kid and my abusers are don't live there and some are dead. I don't know what to say except stay home and if your wife thinks it
Introductions
Broknwings Yes, a very good start and you are acknowledging the hurt you feel. You are not alone and it wasn't your fault. You have the right to speak your truth.
Sexual Identity Issues
Jump to new posts Finding marital sex gross by Winston @ Today at 03:03 AM

Hello to all, I have a rather serious problem, even if it might sounds nothing. Two years ago, me and my wife get married. We knew each other for more than 5 years, and were intimate from the beginning. Even if I never been a sex addict, I used to
Male Survivors
Jump to new posts Enough is enough by TNuss @ Yesterday at 11:08 PM

This is a two part post. Sorry it is a bit long. [quote][/quote] First - as a re-introduction to the group. I am a married 44yr old bi-sexual survivor. I have been away for some time and I am feeling I need to re-engage and talk somethings out. I ha
Introductions
Jump to new posts Re: Finally going to try an introduction again. by manipulated @ Yesterday at 09:45 PM

Great start Broken. So sorry for what you went through. Glad you are here. You are not alone anymore. Maipulated
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